Don't Just Sit There

Sometimes I'm a the butterfly, sometimes the...

2012-02-01T09:51:00.002-05:00

I feel stunted these days. I struggle to come up with writings that I want to share. We continue to plod our way through all the films nominated for Oscars. We have reached the point where we will begin watching those films we would not seek out if they were not nominated.

We will have the chance to see all the animated and live action shorts- with no sign of documentaries long or short popping up. We did manage to see one of the nominated documentaries "If a Tree Falls" at the Traverse City Film Festival. It was good. Several theaters are hosting Oscar best picture marathons usually over two days. On Oscar day a view select theaters are hosting all 9 pictures over 24 hours! Now that is my idea of fun, I would go see all of the 8 I have already seen if I could do it that way! Indianapolis is not one of those cities. We host the Super Bowl but don't rate the Oscar marathon. Guess which event I would have preferred? (I think I'm kidding, I am proud of how the Super Bowl hosting is playing out.)

All that said I have two very lovely treats for you. The first is a movie I stumbled upon as I am trying to rebuild my blog favorites (new computer). You can watch "The Butterfly Circus" here.

It is only 20 minutes. Grab a drink, take the time to make some popcorn and gather your loved ones or feel happy in your own company, and watch this film.
Appropriate for everyone.

Then when you are loving the art of film and are not quite ready to walk away go to this site. Continue munching that popcorn while you are treated to a festival of previews of nominated films. Years ago a theater chain did a free showing of dozens of previews of summer films (best trailer ever was the Stallone film "Cliffhanger" with its magical use of opera music). This is just about that much fun. You get to watch not only Best Picture previews, but Best Screenplay and Actor and... go have some fun! Hubby looks to the screenplay nominations for his hidden gems. Me, I just like the movies. I don't read reviews or check Metacritic or Rotten Tomatoes. I do love a good preview. I am very picky about my previews- I would prefer not to learn the ending of the movie from the preview. I would like to discover surprises watching the film not the trailer (just watched the trailer to "The Beginners" again and find myself anxious to see it again). I am so loving watching these trailers. I have seen many of these movies throughout the year but watching these trailers is just making me happy-hope they do the same for you (OK, now I'm laughing at the "Bridesmaids" trailer.

If you just made your popcorn in the microwave while you just added several movies to your NetFlix que, well then it is time to upgrade your popcorn methodology. If you love movie style popcorn then this is the popper for you:

Some Crisco butter sticks,local popcorn (we stock up by the gallon jugs at a local farmer's market) and with some generous shakes of salt come together with this popper to make theater worthy bowls of one of the world's perfect foods. Yum - thinking of making some right this minute.

If you don't relish the idea of using Crisco sticks then think about this popper. Adorable to look at and it makes up some very tasty popcorn. I spray it with butter flavored Pam so the salt will stick. Maybe I will make some popcorn with this one instead (yes, we have and use both).

You can find both of these wonderful poppers here, at Target.com.

I am off to make popcorn and finish watching trailers. Some days are just perfect that way.

Happy viewing and joyful snacking.

Be well.

Oh Christmas tree oh...

2012-01-12T17:12:00.003-05:00

NOTE: I have been writing this post on and off for 2 weeks and during that time the tree came down! The outside lights remain. My tree is still up and the lights on it are illuminated 24 hours a day. So are the lights in the garland on the stair railing. The wreath on the front door with its crazy multicolored flashing lights also stay lit until the batteries run out and can be replaced. There are lights up and down the wheelchair ramp (think airplane landing strip) and in the tree outside our bedroom window. And not just because I am too lazy to take them down-really.

I love the lights in the gray days of winter, so cheerful. Our holiday season has not had its big day yet, that is this weekend, so I think of our season as still being ongoing. The tree didn't get put up until just a day or two before Christmas so I'm no where near tired of it yet. All these things may be true but something else is also true: when you have no demands on your time it is tough to get things done!

I have not been into school this week. (I have only been to school once in the last 2 weeks) A combination of a scratchy throat, a bit of a skin wound and a lack of enthusiasm for this semester have all had me erring on the side of caution trying to heal before this weekend. We have rented a house in Bloomington large enough to gather our son, daughter and their spouses (our middle daughter and her significant other won't make it this time and I am feeling that tinge of sadness). With a hot tub, pool table, large kitchen we can use to cook together and a view of the lake has me excited for those 2 days. I try to understand that with spouse's families and my ex the children have lots of folks wanting their presence (not to mention they are charming & fun & witty so who wouldn't want them around). Some family gatherings seem to press for their attendance but I only beg for 2 days a year-this January date and May 9th. We had a terrific time; we played games and ate and did our gift exchange and all envied Josh's new remote control helicopter. So much that next year's theme is remote control & batteries!

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. The Oscar nominations are announced. With the list we plan for movies we want to see either on Netflix or in theaters. We try to find out if there will be best picture marathons and special chances to see the short films, both live and animated, before the Oscar's air. It also means that very soon Turner Classic Movies will be showing, 24 hours a day, movies that somehow tie to the Oscars (don't know how yet) beginning Feb 1 and continuing for 31 days (you can get the schedule at TCM.com)

My Christmas gift from hubby was a 1/2 cello. I love it. I got to use the bow the first day. I am learning slowly by do not care. I love the cello. Doing this makes me so very happy. And it gets me out to school so that I will stay out and go to my lesson even when it is cold and dark. Otherwise I give excuses and struggle to go out - even worse is snow and ice are involved. Totally worth it when I do.

My son once told me that everyone should have the responsibility to be somewhere every day. He was so right. Being needed anywhere changes everything. Right now I do not have to be anywhere. I can promise you that my house is no cleaner nor my stack of craft projects dwindling. I do understand why I am considered disabled- today's pain would have stopped any plans. Not so every day.

It is now 2:30. I am hoping to finish my post (looking good), mop floors, bake muffins and do some reading - and maybe even eat some lunch and fix dinner. I'll let you know how I do.

If you haven't discovered Pinterest give it a try. Lots of fun (would love it if you were to follow me).

Be well!

Stop whatever you're doing and go...

2012-01-11T09:26:00.003-05:00

Seriously if you have not watched every minute of Season 1 or the 2 hour first episode of Season 2 of "Downton Abbey", go do it right now. I'll wait. Really! Or maybe I'll go re watch it now too. See you in a few hours (9 hours actually).

The PBS series may be the best thing I have ever watched on TV. Understand that there are times I love TV. There is some awesome stuff that comes to us through the small box (or not so small if a man has chosen your TV-sorry for the stereotype). I anxiously await or awaited episodes of such things as "Dr. Who". "Fringe". "Alias", "Wonderfalls", "The Big C". "Big Love", "X Files", "Homicide", "Lost", "NYPD Blue", "Moonlighting", "MST 3000", "Sex and the City", "St. Elsewhere", "The French Chef" and many more. So you now understand that my TV watching opinions come from many hours of research. Making the list of shows where I would anxiously wait for new episodes to broadcast brought me to the realization that I can say conclusively that "Downton Abbey" is totally crush worthy. It is a combination of addiction and love and awe that brings me to this understanding.

The scenery is beautiful. The characters are complex and compelling. When I finished watching the DVDs from the Season 1 box set (purchased for less than $20), I was virtually crazed wanting to know what happened next. Would Mary and Matthew work things out? Who would be going to or not coming back from the war? What about the other daughters? What about Bates and Anna? So much excitement-then I learned that originally the series was conceived as a mini series of a total of seven hours. It was suppose to end with the start of WW1! Oh the horror!

The day I finished the original 7 hours and began moping about the house, Hubby (the keeper of all knowledge of popular culture) shared with me the news that Season 2 would be starting soon (it began on Sunday) and that a Season 3 was to start filming in February. Oh the joy!!

Has my gushing convinced you to at least take a look? Have a Netflix account? If so you can stream Season 1 immediately. Like to own your DVDs? Amazon has Season 1 for $29 and you can pre-order Season 2 for $19.99 (what do you think I did?). If you have Amazon Prime you can stream the show for free!

Join in the fun of this lavish, period drama. Feel superior when you talk about the show on Monday because it is on PBS so it must be for smart people. Drink in the English accents and the manners and bygone life style. There is even a countdown clock on the web site (everything is more exciting with a countdown).

Watch a few minutes or a whole episode now. Bet you'll be hooked. Watch episodes online at PBS.org. After you get used to watching "Downton Abbey" maybe we can discuss "Sherlock" or "Zen" or some of the other fun PBS has to offer.

Be well.

Watch Downton Abbey, Season 1: Ep. 1 on PBS. See more from Masterpiece.

As the end nears

2011-12-31T14:52:00.000-05:00

The end of the year of course. In our house that means movie season is in full swing. The "best" films are released this time of year. They open up in a way that should be described as making themselves "Oscar bait. After keeping our eyes averted from the summer blockbusters with their loud booms and alien life forms to wade through the celluloid that was gathering dust for some time waiting for one of the bit actors to become famous, past the good not always great late in the year but still not Oscar season we finally reach this time. The time when in the battle between art and commerce art is often a winner.

OK so it is now clear to all that I am a movie snob. I can enjoy a movie that is popular but often will not bother to waste time or money on them. We keep a list of all the movies we see in a year. One of our vacations is spent at a film festival where we cram in at least 15 movies in 5 days and try to see the rest of the festival films from home. We pride ourselves on watching the Oscars each year having seen all nominated films including the short films. Yes, a real movie snob.

You will have to decide for yourself if I am a good source of movie recommendations. However I hope you will give me a chance to encourage you to spend you time and movie dollars wisely. I think movies are an art form. When done well the movies can educate, thrill, transform and move you. A true perfect movie is rare, But the experience of sitting in the dark and sharing the film with a group of people enjoying it as much as you is just magical. So while the end of the year is still 10 hours, 35 minutes away, I feel safe creating my top ten list of 2011 and commenting on a few movies out now generating some buzz but so disappointing.

I put together my list based on movies seen in theaters this calendar year, regardless of when they were released. To make the list the movie had to stay with me long after I left the theater, I wanted to be somehow better for the experience. Here goes:

10. Super 8 - They had me at JJ Abrams. I loved the kids, the story and couldn't wait to learn what that train was carrying. Great popcorn movie! Excellent trailer.

9. Bridesmaids You have probably seen it too, but if not or even if you have, give the site a chance to convince you it is worth watching.

8. Hot Coffee. The only documentary on my list. The one movie I wish everyone would see. Think you know the details of the famous McDonald's coffee lawsuit? You don't. But you should. Not convinced? Follow the link and watch the trailer and maybe the Colbert Report interview. You'll be convinced to watch it then.

7. The Princess of Montpensier. French, pretty, sweeping, sexy, romantic-oh and did I say "French ?

6. Beginners A true unforgettable love story.

5. Crazy Stupid Love

4. Midnight in Paris Woody Allen at his best which is pretty darn awesome. I love this movie and can imagine watching it over and over on rainy Saturdays.

3. Even the Rain (Tambien la Lluvia) I can't describe the film in a way that is fair to it. Watch the trailer. Watch the movie. You will be transformed. You will be better for watching the movie.

2. Win/Win We loved the director's two previous films and were so anxious to see this one. We were not disappointed. You will see yourself in these characters. You will be shocked at the heart of this film. This is great stuff. This truly is a movie for your whole family.

1. Hugo. A young boy who lives in a train station. Directed by Martin Scorsese. The use of 3-D is fantastic. Every character is spot on. Beautiful to watch. One of those magical theater experiences. Hurry and see it in the theater before it is gone. In most places it is down to very few daily showings. Worth every penny for the 3-D. Enjoy-I wish I could see it again for the first time.

So there they are. My favorites for the year. The 10 out of the 50 or so films I saw in the theater this year (we have slowed down our movie going). I am sure some of these will show up in our little outdoor theater next year.

So here is looking forward to the excitement writing a new number when we write the date can bring to our life. If you having been waiting for this day to begin a new chapter in your life, well, then, good luck.

Be well.

A television dream post and a "hail Mary" effort

2011-12-12T09:41:00.010-05:00

This post stems from a night with no sleep and several day's efforts to complete the entry and get it out there. So rather than just give you a post that looks and reads like a short essay I offer up some photos that have absolutely nothing to do with anything in this post. They are fun photos and are unlikely to relate to any other post so I hope you enjoy!

1. Hubby posing next to a sign offering a trip to Moab (where our daughter lives) and beer - two good things for Hubby.

2. That is me (in the wheelchair) approaching Michael Moore (my secret crush) with Matthew Modine and someone I don't know, during the TCFF.

3. First picture in this post of Kris (she likes posts that focus on her and her birthday is coming up this week) showing her trophy for winning the triathlon! Amazing - she works so hard at this. Not that her training is as clear in the next photo of her.

4. A giant Taco Bell sauce package-they make me laugh even in the little form so the idea of someone walking around in this outfit continues to tickle me.

5. Darling daughter Kris (the one who lives in Moab) showing off her decidedly not vegan meal choice!

And now the post:

Are you a Grey's Anatomy fan? My daughter in law is. My son would call me on Thursday nights when he was making the long drive home from Northern Indiana if it happened to coincide with when the show was on, his dear wife loves him but preferred to talk to him any other hour of the week. My son never missed watching it with her when he was home. I like the show. It is full of very pretty people doing interesting things but while I watched regularly for a few years when they moved the show to Thursdays I just wanted to watch something else more.

Now lest you think I have lost my mind and am writing the most random of posting (which is still possible) hang in there with me and let's see if I get to my point. If I don't I may never publish this post anyway! Lifetime shows Grey's in reruns weekday afternoons. I frequently can't sleep so I have begun to DVR the show for middle of the night viewing.

On Thursday I was awake all night. My pneumonia antibiotic is kicking my butt! The nausea kept me awake while I was laying in bed from 9pm to 7:30am. I watched a lot of TV, including a few episodes of Grey's. If you are at all familiar it was during the story line that had one regular character stricken with brain tumors while another main cast member was killed off. I watched those episodes and cried.

Now for some reason I tend to really like the medical dramas. It may be because I have spent enough time in hospitals that the environment is familiar and I love to listen for the mistakes that get shouted about in the E.R. scenes. But I think there may be something else to it. Hospitals are ideal drama settings because for most of us the greatest dramas of our lives play out there. Those moments where everything changes, where we are our most vulnerable and lost, where we have least control, where even the good moments have elements of fear, those moments are a regular part of business in hospitals.

So back to these particular Grey's episodes. At the end of the episode with the dead friend and the miraculously alive other friend the voice over said something like: "as surgeons we are given many lessons on how to save a life but not one on how to live it." And that's the reason for the post. (Hope you're still with me).

Choosing your best life, noticing little moments, spending time doing more of what you like and less of what you don't, stopping to smell the roses, etc. all make nice refrigerator magnets but what do they have to do with real life? There in lays the rub. If you are the one with the miraculous life, the one who no one thought would make it but you did, the brilliant talented one that everyone believed could do anything, the oldest or youngest or middle child that your parents believed would take the world by storm - how do you live your life worthy of the enthusiasm?

I keep meaning to live this great life, but the day to day things keep getting in my way. Things like a messy house or lack of energy. But we all know those are excuses. Living a full life is scary. It is set up with tremendous potential for failure and likelihood of embarrassment. It is so easy to sit with friends or even easier with acquaintances and be silently sure of the areas in their lives where if they would just do what we told them they would certainly rid their lives of the wrong partner or job or raise a better child or .... Our own strongly voiced opinions when directed to our own selves don't seem to have the same "voice from on high".

So what do you do to clean up your life and focus its direction? Do you remember to be kind to yourself for your efforts? Do you remember to be kind to others as they try to navigate life also? Do you have a secret for following your passion? Do you have a secret for supporting loved ones who may have put others before their own desires? Have you discovered the way to balance it all?

I read so many blogs, usually by women younger than me (I'm 50) with small children and they accomplish so much. Their lives look perfect from out here. I am fairly certain that I will not have the opportunity to turn a lens on my life and show you a moment where all the pieces are working perfectly! But if it happens, you will be the first to know.

AND NOW- THE HAIL MARY PASS

I am the volunteer coordinator for a school scheduled for takeover at the end of the year. The reasons and politics can be saved for another day. This takeover has been responsible for many of our volunteers and donations drying up. Not so the kindness from a neighborhood church. Small with only about 65 families, they have approximately 20 volunteers in our school who have taken on projects from refillable water bottles for band kids marching in last summer's heat to compliant uniform clothing for students new to school or in need or who need a change to avoid being sent home and now to items needed to stay warm (including beautiful hand knitted items) and many other projects that directly benefit our kids.

In a meeting last month with a handful of volunteers from the parish, a volunteer there for the first time, presented an idea. Knowing our kids most all qualify for free and reduced lunch, knowing many of them eat their only full meals at school and fearful for them while on a two week break from school, she presented what we now call Project Snack Pack.

She offered to spearheaded a program to send every child, all 650, home with a large bag full of healthy snacks on the last day before break. That is at least 15 hearty snacks for 650 kids = 9750 snacks. She has been running nonstop for the last month shopping with monetary donations or sorting snack donations. They are scheduled to bag the snacks in six days.

We know this doesn't solve the hunger issue. Some kids might eat everything in the bag over the first weekend. We know that the next break will be just as scary. I would like to think that isn't the point. The point? We are trying to make hungry children less hungry for a while.

Here is the "hail Mary" part. The church started this project a month ago. I have spent the last 4 weeks with pneumonia-barely in school and certainly not holding up my end of the project to get the word out. And now we are on the last week to gather money or snacks. We are over 2/3 of the way there. If this idea touches your heart please consider contacting me about ways to give.

This is one of those projects that require just a bit from many. If the majority of people who read this and other efforts to spread the word would each contribute $5 we would be able to easily make this happen. There are so many needs and this time of year seems to shine a light on so many. However I love the idea that this impacts children who are housed in bigger bodies and rarely looking like someone you put on an envelope to entice you to give. But high school students get hungry too. Some of them work hard to keep the little ones in their lives fed (either their own children or younger siblings). These are good families and every parent's nightmare is having hungry children. I can remember being a very poor single mother but my parents made sure that my kids never ever went hungry.

There are places in the neighborhood that will be offering meals at no cost throughout the break. Not every day but they will happen. Just ask yourself this, have you ever been around a teenager who was not hungry? Ever met a teenager who did not want a snack before eating?

Please help me to make up for my own short falling efforts to raise funds. It is extraordinary to be part of a community coming together to solve a problem. Join us if you can.

Good luck to all of you in your efforts to make your world a bit better.

Be well.

I'm Back

2011-12-04T14:54:00.004-05:00

I have no idea how to communicate my return to blogging. I have no idea if readers will trust this new commitment to posting. I am going to post my return on Facebook, that time sucking app that lets me communicate with so many people at once. I feel hypocritical making Facebook announcements-I am so quick with the superior attitude about not caring for Facebook and the short snips of life it contains. But here's the kicker, those short snippets are better than the total silence that is so often the communication between me and folks I do not see every day. I feel I am not being loyal to my Mother when I do not write a note or letter to loved ones, but I rarely do. I have many small gifts (including a July birthday gift bought in time to ship for her birthday) for a cousin and all of them sit in a bag next to my computer,

So, I'm not perfect. I don't have small children or a daily craft habit. I love to think about food but do not cook very often anymore. So why would anyone read my blog? I am a middle aged blogger in a sea of younger bloggers. I am an empty nester. I am trying to succeed in an urban school slated for state takeover at the end of the year. I run a volunteer program for that same school (looking to go out in a blaze of glory). I am a mother of grown children and the struggles that includes (none of whom moved back home though). And as you may already know, I am a quadriplegic (feeling it right now as my fingers are getting numb from typing).

I try to lead a happy life. The trying is what makes it interesting. And I will try to be interesting. I love movies and food and crafting and animals and (don't let the order of this list make you think it is in any way in order of importance) my adult children and their partners and learning new things and working with volunteers and trying to have a good marriage with all the other stuff that gets in the way and am trying so hard to be a vegan but am effortlessly a vegetarian always. That may sum it up.

So I hope you'll join me. I will offer up movie reviews, book reviews, craft projects and views in general. When you realize that if I can do something with all my "hurdles" than you have a good shot of doing it too and (maybe even better) you know I am not going to be one of those intimidating blogs that will make you feel tired just by the time you read the end of the post.

For those of you who have read me before and became frustrated with my 5 month hiatus I offer this proof- I just spent $500 on registration and hotel for a blogging conference in Nashville, TN. I need to get my money's worth so that means lots of posts over the next several weeks. I need to be blog focused. But the biggest reason is selfish. When I blogged I felt as though I had found a place to belong. So if you don't read this for yourself, read it for me.

I want to take more pictures, blogging gets me to do that. I want to be a better writer, I think my blog writing improves with regular posting. I want to have the hopes and dreams of a much younger body and blogging helps me to do that.

So I am going to try to juggle (yes children your mother who tossed one ball from hand to hand and declared it was a kind of juggling) maintaining home and all that means, running an active volunteer program, writing grants for the Global Peace Initiatives, Indianapolis, staying vegan and loving all the wonderful people who make me want to make them proud of me and I really hope you will read about my efforts to have some fun along the way.

Please comment. Call me out if I waste your time with no new posts. No matter what you do,

Be well.

I have a dirty little secret.

2011-06-20T22:05:00.002-04:00

Here it goes: I am disabled. Oh I know that most people look at the wheelchair and assume that I do not hold a real job. By real I mean a 9-5 or some version of that kind of job. So untrue for so many, in fact the majority, of my friends in chairs. They are out there drawing pay checks, paying into social security rather than waiting anxiously for the money that barely even covers actual costs of medicines and gear I need to survive. And I am not a free kind of handicapped individual. I like to do things, buy things, throw money at things.

So you would think with all the out go I am behind that I would get a for money kind of job. And yet I don't. Here comes the dirty secret part.

I am feeling older. I get tired easily and can not keep up with a day after day schedule. I can not face 8 hours of back to back high function. I forget names and why I went into a room. I am noticing why I qualified for disability and continue to do so.

So please leave me a parking spot close to the entrance. Provide me with slanted floors (going gently down only whenever possible) to get around. And feel free to ask me politely if I could use some help. After a day like today the answer will probably be yes.

Tomorrow, you should probably get out of my way (in the morning before I'm worn out again)!

Be well!

Is there anything better than good news before 9am?

2011-06-15T09:29:00.005-04:00

Before 9a.m. this morning it began to rain in that way that makes you happy to be home folding laundry watching TV that you recorded. Then the texts started to arrive: I have help coming this week both students to do some painting and a college student to help around the house and my previous late twenties assistant to do some more treacherous tasks such as assembling a shelf and hanging a picture in the entry way and more. Then a text from my friend the principal to check my email. On email the joyous information that funding is available for some training I have been attempting to put together for teachers, parents and volunteers. AND my mother in law has agreed to a get together at an area lake for Father's Day. All this before 9a.m.

Hubby let me know before he left that he and Darling Daughter, Kris, attempted to negotiate seeing her this summer. They seem to be working hard to find a way to make it happen. It is starting to feel possible.

So we might be headed to Moab with all it's amazing parks and arches and Darling Daughter and her wonderful boyfriend or Darling Daughter could be joining us in Traverse City for a triathlon in Northern Michigan followed by a week at the film festival. Shaping up to be a not too shabby summer.

And a not too shabby day. Looks like I will be spending a lazy day cleaning house, doing laundry, the basics but this evening has a friend bringing over dinner and having a nice long chat.

Can't wait to see what happens next.

Be well.

I have a new crush.

2011-06-13T10:45:00.003-04:00

I don't know how I happened upon this but am so glad I did. Once I listened to this first video I couldn't stop until I had listened to ten more. If I had nothing else to do today I would happily be listening to as many others as I can find.

Before I offer you the Taylor Mali poetry I should explain that I love being read to. On our honeymoon Hubby and I took turns reading Tony Hillerman's "Thief of Time". We both love Garrison Keillor's poetry during the Writer's Almanac each morning. We seldom drive without a book on CD in the car (now that Hubby has to do all the driving we do not read aloud in the car. The current book is Sarah Vowel's "Unfamiliar Fishes".

Mr. Mali's "What Teachers Make" is angry and easy to love but I confess it is the painful telling of his wife's suicide that gave me the most of an emotional tug. So I feel confident you will enjoy the anger of this reading but hope that what I end up hearing is that you too have developed a crush.

I am struggling to embed this video so please take a little trip to YouTube and enjoy some of his work. Start with "What Teachers Make" and stay for a few more. I like poetry. Poetry is cool. And if you got that reference, you are too.

Be well.

I am a happy vegan, really.

2011-06-09T10:23:00.004-04:00

This is another attempt to revive my blog. At one time I loved it. I often wanted to post every time a thought crossed my mind. Then I went blank. Well, I no longer feel blank. In fact I think if I could pitch the story of a middle aged (if we all live to be 100), quadriplegic, vegan, with a colorful intelligent family, and an interesting volunteer life it might just make a decent basic cable short season TV show. Instead I think I will use the material to try and make an interesting blog read.

What prompted me to pick today to begin? I am going to a wedding this weekend. Dressing up in a wheelchair is challenging to say the least. So if I manage to pull if off (I will take photos so you can decide if I did) I want to share the experience.

(Gentlemen I realize this paragraph might run the risk of boring you silly so you can feel free to skip ahead. If you feel cheated on content I offer up this to "beef" up your experience. Warning: contains some blue language but makes me laugh like crazy). I have a couple of dresses I bought for the cruise 2 years ago. The prettiest one, a green one, requires a strapless bra and a strong will-Hubby and I almost came to blows getting me in it last time. No pictures exist in that dress despite all the ones taken of our family that night-my mother in law struggled to look her best in any of them. So we dressed up another night. That time I wore the black dress. Less struggle but also not the same response to the ensemble. I just bought red open toed shoes to wear so it looks like the black dress is the betting favorite. It shows a lot of cleavage. Maybe no one will notice the wheelchair. I wonder if I can cover up with a jacket in church! Both dresses require a scarf to hide the neck hardware. Dressy scarves pose their own challenges but I do have a few that would work. Scarves with the green dress would be tougher but that green dress is beautiful. The debate rages on.

I also have the usual wheelchair concerns. I need to make sure I have a back up outfit in case of accidents (done since we are staying in the same hotel as the reception) but that means of course figuring out the back up outfit. Also of concern is the safety of others on the dance floor once the wheelchair starts spinning.

Sunday is suppose to be beautiful weather (high 70's low 40's) so I hear the day will be spent at a festival. The will also be lots of vegan restaurant noshing. Including the required visitation to the altar of the pizza god. Chicago people take their pizza seriously.

Before I pack I need to finish the Spring cleaning (if I finish before the 22nd it still qualifies as Spring cleaning) so the house is OK for the dog sitter this weekend. I am also working on some projects involving my work at school.

I promise pictures and stories. So if anyone is out there listening drop me a comment.

Be well.

p.s. In the mood to win some freebie cute stuff? One of my most favorite blogs My Paper Crane is having a give a way. Why not give it a look? She's talented, witty, down to earth and kind. I always enjoy her blog.

If he reads this there will be no living with him!

2011-03-17T16:04:00.002-04:00

My husband is brilliant. I don't just mean he is a smart guy (as I am sure after reading this others will comment and concur). I am smart. I am often one of the smartest people in the room or rather I was before I aged past 34 and began to decline. Hubby makes me look average. He is the king of trivia in a way that makes him virtually unbeatable at family games including when we all watch Jeopardy, a better guesser than Ken Jennings (which is part of what made Ken great- his ability to guess and bet well but that's another topic). He is brilliant enough to be Ivy League. He is brilliant enough to have developed a finely tuned E.Q. to go with his I.Q.

I could go on but I did have a point to make. My hubby is a high school teacher. One of those people that just a hand full of years ago school systems were begging for- highly qualified (folks who had extensive education in content area not just in the field of education)individuals. And he was, is, highly qualified. More math education than most of his colleagues. Smart enough and secure enough to know he isn't the answer for every student.

He has continued his education well above his masters. 1/3 of his reading and 1/2 of his discussions revolve around school. He sleeps < 5 hours each night so as to have time to prepare for the next day's lessons.

I tell you all this because all of a sudden teachers are the bad guys. They are to blame for what is wrong with education even though they now have very little control over their classrooms. The state legislature, not a group known for its advanced degrees, has issued mandates regarding content and testing and data (and don't forget No Child Left Behind). Those same legislators who are not pleased to find out they do not have the power to make folks jump just they way they thought they should.

Education is a complicated issue. There are parents involved. Sometimes those parents can not be bothered to register their child for school or wake him up in the morning or check his homework or feed him breakfast or make sure he gets some sleep. But it isn't only the parent's fault. Classrooms have gotten crowded (when did we stop worrying about student/teacher ratios). Children are expected to know more ( how many legislators could pass the current graduation exams?). Teachers are held responsible for the number of "F"s they hand out regardless of student efforts so sometimes a "D" is given when it hasn't been earned. Right? I don't know but I know that measuring and reprimanding teachers based on one piece of data for a complicated issue is not right. And like I said, this is complicated stuff.

Don't forget the school administration. Sometimes they behave like the old joke, "the beatings will continue until morale improves". Sometimes they are all touchy feely and excuse all student behavior. Often their behavior seems to be focused on preserving their own job. Hubby use to tell new teacher hires that a teacher's first responsibility was "to facilitate administrative paperwork".

I tell you this to point out two things (and you were beginning to think I had no point), 1: Hubby could have gone into a far more lucrative field but felt a calling, and 2: if you think unions are to blame with the flaws in education you are simply wrong, it's more complicated then that.

Back in the day (before we became a country all about money) the teacher's union was there to bring in the best and the brightest and to make them want to be teachers. To stop administrators and the public from trying to control a system that needed autonomy to be extraordinary. Ask a good teacher what they like best about teaching. I bet they all tell you that they like their job when they get to teach. When a student asks a deeper question and they get to "teach to the moment". Ask what they like least and you will have to go very deep before they comment on the students-despite the attitudes and behaviors. The job is still the same one that 5 years ago had folks saying, "I could never do your job. You have a tough thing going." The kids, well they are still kids.

Students need to be inspired and learn to read and count and do geometry and advance algebra and government and econ and write an essay and read a book and think critically and ... School isn't easy, is it suppose to be? Money is tight and programs get cut. Everybody knows someone who stayed in school because of theatre or basketball or some other activity outside the basics. And most of us know a high school graduate not trained for any career that doesn't involve cooking oil.

If you think what is happening with the states trying to remove teacher bargaining rights isn't about money- well then (I don't know a better way to say this accurately) you are an idiot. My Hubby, he followed his calling because even though he makes a good living and could have made a much better one doing something else, he traded money for stability. States busting unions has everything to do with electing Republicans and very very very little if anything to do with students. The kids who live in rich districts will find their schools getting even better. The kids whose parents don't understand the real issue will find their schools getting smaller and offering fewer options. Oh some dedicated folks will hang on and try but the inner city public school will have little to offer. They will be the dumping ground for those students no one else wants to educate and those students who have no where else to go.

By now if you think I'm full of crap then you need to start reading legislation and more importantly, start volunteering in a school. And reading U.S. history. Understand the role unions played in our nation. Ask yourself if you want to be a nation that is about production or money. Do you choose people or money? Notice how those who most need to be protected seem to vote with the ones who are trying to take their protections away.

I often wondered why so many poor voted Republican. It couldn't just be the idea of being pro-life since the Republicans so often disregard caring of the already born. Some of it might be habit. I have decided it is because everyone believes that they will have the chance to be on top, with money and power. They think they will be up as part of the wealthy elite (everything is possible in America, right?) and when they are, they want it to be sweet!

I am so tired of our country being for sale. I want us to be better than that! It is time to get angry. To draw the line in the sand and realize that education is complicated but one thing is not, if you want to attract good people to a tough job you need to offer them something - decide what it is going to be. If you think our country will never have an improved economy then do nothing and watch those with money and power get some more of it. If you think there is a chance it will ever get better maybe it's time to remember the effect a good teacher had on your life or you child's. Remember that education is complicated and spend time reading up on the issues- heck dedicate 5 minutes for every hour you spend watching TV or on the computer. Then write your state reps.

If you are a teacher, especially a young teacher-join the union. If you are a good teacher with options to follow another career path stop bitching about the dues (I remember how much the money upset me in the beginning). Demand the union be better. Show your state you are part of something big and student focused (and make sure your union is). Look around and figure out what unions have done for this country.

If you are not a teacher, if you don't have school aged children then your job is different. Your voice is more powerful because you don't have a direct interest. No one can point a finger at you and claim self interest! You know what to do. If you aren't sure how to do it, I offer you these links:

http://www.michaelmoore.com/

http://www.in.gov/legislative/legislators/

Remember not everything should be for sale. That includes your vote.

Be well.

For the first time ever I miss my 20's

2011-03-09T19:52:00.003-05:00

OK not the first time but darn if it doesn't run across my mind several times a day lately. I keep trying to remember what it was like to plan on staying awake all night to complete a project. I had three kids in my 20's so it is possible that I spent most days cleaning up baby messes and tending to those constantly demanding little ids. Instead I remember being divorced, working out every morning and most evenings and going back to school studying creative writing.

My thirties are a blur of soccer games, working at the bank and time with attorneys. My forties were slated to make up for my 30's. I had begun the cello, started my catering business and deciding to be happy. I remember energy and still believing that I could change my life, there was still time. Then the accident and time spent waiting for things to change and get going again.

Now I'm looking at 50 in a few weeks. I am not unhappy. Going vegan is working for me. I am losing weight, slowly but headed in the right direction. I enjoy Hubby. We are older, settled and even boring but given the choice I would choose to spend my time with him, and he seems to feel the same way. I get to spend time with my oldest, youngest and their significant others. I miss my middle daughter but all evidence points to her being happy. That goes a long way to calming a mother's heart.

So why the coveting of being in my 20's It's simple. Energy. It's 8:30pm. I have cooked dinner, packed lunches. And that was after I dropped the first dinner across the floor. I cleaned up all of that. I spent a few hours today working with my niece on a quilt she is giving to her sister. I also talked to my brother for over an hour as he tries to navigate the wild ride that is a high school senior girl. I also washed my hair and combed it out. I did Internet research and lots of other little things that are slipping my mind right now. I have projects I haven't finished yet (I started the volunteer newsletter a week ago and still haven't sent it out). I haven't even touched my list of fun. Things like reviewing my giant stack of craft books, sewing new kitchen curtains (this is where I stopped last night on my way to making a point)

Today is a new day. The newsletter went out, the antibiotics have kicked in, and I even cleared a few more things off my desk. I still haven't uploaded my photos or added my book reviews, but that will wait for the weekend. As for tonight, it is almost 7:30 - the Jeopardy witching hour. I have typed enough today to be dealing with cramped wrists. I shopped for the coffee house/poetry lounge I'm helping with tomorrow. I think I will put that age and experience to use and go kick some Jeopardy butt,

Be well.

I get by with a little help from my friends...

2011-03-02T07:19:00.002-05:00

I love that song. One of the many reasons I love what I am doing at school is the fact that I get to work with friends. Some of who made my life possible and bearable after my accident. Two of them are women whose friendship had proceeded me by many years. When I got to know them I so badly wanted to be part of their group. I had lost several friends who could not handle my new physical realities. These two women, whose laughter on Friday evenings I had so envied, became my friends. Amazing women, I love them both.

Yesterday staffing changes in the school were announced. As the state attempts to "fix" education one of the mandates required our principal replace 51% of our staff. One of these women will not be in the building next year.

She isn't the only friend who will be gone. One of our social workers is being replaced. She and I have an easy bond. She has been a strong supporter of the volunteer program. I have loved the successes we have had together. I can not imagine what it will be like moving forward without her.

Still not the only friends going. I also have many friends who will be there next year helping to right the ship. Not the least of which is our principal. She is an extraordinary person and a good friend. I am excited to be part of her vision.

So today I am digging around in the rubble attempting to determine where resources should be allocated. I need to recruit more volunteers. I need to be sure volunteers in the building working with staff all understand what happened. It is time for hard work and time to help friends move one.

I have been doing one thing fun and frivolous- I have been checking out craft books and forming opinions about them. And I don't mean one or two, I mean at least 2 or 3 dozen. So I think it may be time for some book reviews and projects.

It is also time to share some movie opinions. Been busy there too (after all when one watches the Oscars one would hate to have not seen all the nominated movies - including the shorts).

But that will be the next post. Today is about hanging on to a vision.

Be well.

I went out for vegan pizza-really!

2011-02-19T19:47:00.003-05:00

Happy Saturday! My day started with a final wake up time that was four hours later than my usual weekday rise and shine. My actual rising started with a shower that made good use of my Dead Sea salt scrub and my hair, which has gotten past shoulder length and become a pain to deal with, requires conditioner if I hope to ever comb it out.

The sun was shining, the air wasn't freezing, the library sale was open and the evening ended with pizza. A local pizza place sports a vegan co-owner. Thanks to or because of her being vegan, the pizza crust and all the bread is vegan. You even have the option of adding a vegan cheese to your pizza.

We ate olive bread with vegan garlic butter dip, and chopped salad with vegan poppy seed dressing (sensing a theme here?) and a pizza with thin crust and slightly sweet dough and homemade sauce that is some of the best I have ever had and tomatoes and onions and broccoli and artichokes and mushrooms (with spinach and vegan cheese on Hubby's side). Oh, so much food but oh was it good.

We had spent the afternoon volunteering at the library sale. I love the resale shop, called Second Hand Prose. Sales take place eight weekends a year-two weekends back to back four times a year. The place is crowded but surprisingly well organized. As a volunteer you fall into working certain sections and begin to think of them as yours. Folks are territorial which makes it tough to break in but pays off when you have put in some time. You begin to think of a section as your own and take pride in the way it looks and how it sells. This is beneficial especially considering the place is run totally on volunteer labor both to stock it and to man the sales.

I worked up front at the tally/checkout counter. At times business lagged and I could chat with my coworkers. Since my head was lower than the counter and it was difficult to see me as well as a bit of an effort for me to unpack and repack people's books, I relied on the kindness of strangers. And folks were kind. And friendly. It became quiet enough that I spent twenty minutes doing some shopping at the end of the day.

A very satisfying Saturday. A due to the miracle which is the days getting longer, we were able to come into the house before the sun had set. I am hoping to be under the covers by 9 and watching Fringe at 11. Good stuff.

Hope you are enjoying your weekend and planning something Presidential for Monday. If you haven't decided how to spend the day I offer the following "artistic" expressions:

If making a complete presidential cupcake artwork is a bit out of your league how about just some cupcake picks (these are by paperNplastic, available here)

And certainly not least, check out Heidi Kenney's book Every Day's a Holiday with this presidential craft. *

*Heidi's blog "My Paper Crane" is terrific. Be sure to give it a look (I just bought several of her fabrics from Spoonflower and will share the result of that purchase with you soon.)

Be well.

Can you do a kindness without it being charity?

2011-02-15T10:55:00.005-05:00

I love what I am doing at school. Determining a need and then figuring out how to satisfy it gives me a serious thrill. Add in the bonus of working with so many extraordinary people and you have the basis for a pretty happy situation. But now I am a bit perplexed.

Hunger is an issue for our population. It is a big enough issue that it is a big factor in determining if a snow day is to be called. Last week along with the rest of the Midwest an ice storm caused school to be cancelled for four days. Folks in the know in our building spent the time rationally concerned that many of our students, 75% on free or reduced lunch, would be going hungry over the time away from school. Highly possible since 75% of that free and reduced lunch population takes advantage of eating both breakfast and lunch at school.

So working with the Principal and others we have come up with an idea. Starting monthly and then hoping to advance to bimonthly and even more hopefully to weekly, we are going to be hosting Wednesday night dinners at school. Community sponsored and prepared meals open to our school families, welcoming anyone they want to bring, siblings, aunts, etc. In addition to dinner families who want to will be able to take home a bag of healthy low-cooking food. We are going to make an effort to not use high in fat and sugar and salt prepackaged convenience meals. Lack of cooking facilities in a community of highly transient, often hotel dwelling, folks means that meal preparation is limited.

So the question, what is the best way to do this? The first meal will focus on providing parents with information on helping their student handle math class. Information will be given on current classes and grade status, how to help with homework when you don't know the subject and how to prepare students for ECA (end of course assessment-a type of graduation exam). Good stuff. Hopefully. Should future meals be social gatherings more like a game night? Or maybe live music? Or more stuff like revolving subject matter? And how to handle the giving out the food bags?

Give that some thought then share your thoughts with me. This is new territory for me and I want to learn from those who have gone before. I want to be careful of the talent and treasure used to implement projects.

On a completely different thought line-as I type this my new Rumba robot is rolling around my floors handling my sweeping. I bought the machine as part of my accident anniversary gift. It is so cool. It gets into all sorts of spots I can not reach. It works hard while managing to make Buster a little crazy-can't beat that.

Are thoughts of Spring tickling at your brain? Maybe now is the time to expend some of your precious energy on projects that will make your home feel a bit shiny and fresh. Check out some of these:

A cheerful wreath from In Color Order

A fantastic lightweight t-shirt scarf from Just Something I made

How cute are these very quick to do matchbook covers from Dollar Store Crafts

So dust off the bookshelves, toss out the stuff that made you feel all nested in for Winter and give Spring a chance. After all the days are getting beautifully longer, sunshine will be showing up soon and you want to be ready.

Be well.

9 years 2 days

2011-02-09T19:33:00.003-05:00

I started a post on Tuesday but rereading it I realized I wasn't even close to saying what I needed to say. I needed to write about the effect of the last 9 years - almost half my married life. In the last 9 years I have had people tell me they couldn't handle being a quad, they don't know how I do it(as if I had a choice). Add in all my other substitute parts and I bet I could present quite the sad middle age woman. Sometimes I am - but not too often anymore.

I can't put my finger on it but somewhere along the way my life got settled. I no longer spend weeks in the hospital each year. Hubby and I seldom fight nor do I sit at home seething about something silly. I remember why I love him (most days) and do love him every day and that makes me happy. And dispite the fact it makes me sound like I am a crazy dog lady, I proudly say, "I love my dogs"- they make the house feel like home.

I love working at school-they gave me a great space and lots of opportunities to make my own decisions. Except for the idea of money and because of the lack of i, t the working situation is ideal. I make my own hours with the flexibility to (something stopped me here)

It is now Sunday and after 5 days I still have not managed to finish this post. Working 2-3 days a week, accomplishing virtually nothing on Mondays at home and weekends that are nonstop have all merged to present a barrier to blogging. I have decided (just this second) that I will start doing shorter posts-just to get my butt in gear.

It is hard to complain too much when Saturday evening and night were spent going to dinner at a favorite pizza place (vegan crust, no cheese) followed by 2 1/2 hours of watching/listening to John Hiatt and Lyle Lovett, followed by coffee. We went with friends and had a WONDERFUL time. The weather cooperated beautifully with tempetures in the 30's. This morning it was up early and clean housed because Hubby's parents will be here soon.

They have very sweetly opted to join us visiting my father today. We will see how the dementia shows itself today! My parents and in-laws have always been friendly. We spent holidays together so that we wouldn't have to choose sides. The Thanksgivings where my folks went up to Chicago with us were some of the best holiday weekends ever.

I am going to end this stream of consciousness posting with this observation: 9 years, 5 days, 5 hours & ? minutes, no one remembered or called and maybe that is a good thing.

Be well.

Pretend it is February 1st!

2011-02-03T15:57:00.002-05:00

I so badly wanted to start on the 1st but got distracted by that most wonderful of all days - SNOW DAYS! I suppose if you aren't a child or a teacher snow days are just a pain in the ass. But if you spend your time working at schools, well then a snow day is just the most wonderful of gifts. It is a gift that shows up without too much warning and certainly no entitlement.

So there you go -so far 3 snow days in a row. And what did I accomplish? Sleeping in, working on my Wii tennis and golf, and well, there's the rub. I have mopped the floors twice (and they need it again) and I have cooked simple meals that still manage to make a mess both in the preparation and the eating. Requiring far more time to deal with than pitching the take out wrappers.

So let's talk about the big issue-where or why have I been virtually silent for the last 6 month? I guess the real truth would be a crises of ego. It began to feel like everyone was blogging (still does) without any thought as to if they were good writers or not. I also noticed that most of my posts were about bitching and whining and not about moving forward, making things or making things better. So I took a break. I wanted to miss writing. But I didn't.

I began volunteering as a volunteer coordinator at Hubby's school. Lots of work, lots of people handling, lots of failed efforts and a few successes. And I loved it. It was a few days a week at school with days home working on stuff for school. And I loved it. Then I began to struggle keeping up at home. Hubby was overwhelmed with work and so his help at home was undependable. (This may seem as though I am going to start whining but truly I am not) And now I am well rested (yeah snow days) and February 1st has shown its face. I totally forgot about the ground hog's face but assumed he was frozen in his hole by ice since everything else was.

Now I want a mulligan. I want to begin this blog with the intent I had in the beginning. I want to address life from a chair. A life that intends to try and make the world around it better by volunteering, by creating things of beauty, by having fun and by trying to lead a life of kindness (and that even included being kind to Hubby since we all know that it is easiest to bark at the ones you trust the most).

I have my hand raised (you will just have to trust me on this one) and I pledge to try and post at least twice a week and to include a picture. I pledge to share how I am spending my time making the world a little nicer and to come up with a project to do so if I can't think of anything to post about.

I'm going to still comment on wheelchair life. To mention things like the fact that I am frozen into the house with a 70' wheelchair ramp that is covered in a layer of ice. So it looks like I'll be here awhile. I hope to spend some time getting even better scores on Wii golf and tennis, learning Photoshop and doing some sewing. And take pictures of it all. For today you are going to have to be satisfied with just words. Words from an almost 50 gluten eating (yes Alex it's true I only lasted 6 months) vegan with just shy of 9 years in a chairs. Let's hope someone wants to listen. After all if a blog entry posts on the internet and no one reads the entry, does it really exist? (You did mentally substitute the "tree/forest" saying, right?)

Be well.

Missed me?

2010-11-24T07:33:00.002-05:00

It's been six weeks but felt like years. I think that I am going to struggle to get back readers from before so I'll just write and hope for the best. If you have been checking periodically and wondered what was up, I'll fill you in. Feels like nothing, but yesterday a coworker commented on the fullness of my life. It's possible.

I am volunteering at school and trying to establish a vibrant volunteer program. My goal is 70 volunteers by the end of the year and we now have about 20. I was asked to do this one day a week but to make it work will take about 3.

I continue to be very sleepy and have tremors. No answers and refuse, even medicated, to do an MRI. This effects the quality of my days.

I fear I have nothing to say & no original voice but I am going to give it one more try. NaNoWriMo is over on the 30th. What I have written sucks but I am going to try and get to 50,000 anyway. Word from the motivators is that every one's writing sucks at this stage!

So today I am cooking veggie food for a night school class forced to attend a shortened class for tonight and a few things to take with us for dinner at my brother in laws tomorrow. Recipes and pictures to follow.

I want to stop drifting. I want to use my camera, connect to the work, feel tethered and attached to the world. This blog has always been a good place to start.

OK then, cruddy post but a start.

Be well.

You can never watch this enough!

2010-09-27T21:17:00.001-04:00

Just checking in

2010-09-24T11:58:00.002-04:00

When you aren't making something it is hard to justify taking up someone's time with a post. So I'll just say hi.

Next time I home to have photos from our camping trip this weekend. We have reserved a boat. I love being out on the water.

I also hope to have an aswer about my tremors. They think a bit of surgery will fix it!

Be well.

Bird brained!

2010-09-20T14:08:00.003-04:00

If you haven't been playing Angry Birds, well, then you are some of the few who are not. This game is strategic, spacial, compelling and fun.

Give it a watch. You won't be able to hear the catchy tune or the pigs laughing at you or the birds cheering for your victories. Start playing and you won't be able to get those sounds out of your head.

And I thought I could play Plants vs. Zombies forever!

Be well.

Sometimes a cliche is still worth listening to

2010-09-17T08:16:00.003-04:00

If I were to ask the teachers at school to watch this video, they would claim this guy is out to sell something. And they would probably be right. But I was wondering; if you have a great idea that will solve a common problem how do you spread the word? How do you get others, regular people, to believe and implement your idea? How do you make a living while spreading the word?

Then it occurred to me that most folks don't mind others making a living, they mind them making "too good" of a living. It is similar to craft/artisan shows. You walk from booth to booth and admire the work. Then you look at the price tag. Unless money is truly no object, you then mentally assign a value or worth of this object in your life. You think of how much you would spend for something similar at Target. Or you think of how you could make it or what it really costs to make it or that other booths have similar objects and so the idea isn't original. Embedded in all those thoughts is that the crafts person really should not profit too much on you buying the item.

When did we become so cynical? When did we stop enjoying the success of others and instead wish to grab and hold on to our own so tightly we no longer help others? Every time someone speaks out against health care for everyone you can bet they have good insurance. I say all of this as though I am immune. I find myself snarking at people all the time, behind their backs making snippy little "witty" comments. Why? I don't want to be that person. I want to spread an attitude of joy instead (wow, that is so pompous but I mean it and I can't figure out another way to say it).

I spend so much of my time waiting for something to happen. I am always poised to really live the life I am intended for except... I would like to effect a positive change. I think this is something I could do now. I think doing this would make me feel stronge.

I realize I have jumped around here-but I promise a common point! There is a way for everyone to make their world a better place. And it's free. And no one will make money off of this.

It's this: Today congratulate 3 people on their success and truly celebrate it with them. It could be their weight loss or new job or just a good class. Really listen to them talk about it-everyone wants to be heard. Then connect and congratulate them. And don't add in anything about yourself.

It will in no way diminish your successes or your ability to do the same thing better. But it will make your little world better. Promise.

I wanted to add this picture just because it makes me smile. Hope it works for you too.

Be well.

I love hospitals.

2010-09-09T15:13:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I see lights at night that flash my mind back to hospital stays. The scary times. The times of great pain. The times I was sure I was about to die. The times I struggled to breath. And even greater pain.

Sometimes I miss the hospital. Don't get me wrong, I experienced terrific homesickness the months away from home. However...in the hospital you never have to feel guilty for needing help. You never have to feel guilty for not doing something of value. You never have to feel guilty for being less than whole. If you are nice, kind and friendly in the face of all you're facing you become an exception to the rule. You become a staff favorite. You can become the room the nurses like to linger in.

Now when you wake up in the morning and have a whole day facing you, how do you choose to spend it? Guilt if you waste it. You can spend the day any way you choose except you can't leave the house. Clean and straighten for at least 2 hours (I know because I set a timer). The what? You have from 7 a.m. until 3p.m. home alone. You doze until 10:30 trying to catch up on sleep after two nights of restlessness stuck in bed. Sometimes you eat lunch or munch on this and that. Sometimes you sit at the computer. Then what?

There is an hour left on my day. What to do next?

Be well.

Changing lives with salsa!

2010-09-03T12:58:00.002-04:00

Our garden has been overflowing-literally. On the one hand WOW! On the other, what the heck are we going to do with all of it? Some we have given away (both to people directly & some in bags left on doorsteps). Some we have eaten in salads, and that was yummy. But most has gone into salsa.

Not just regular salsa, though there has been lots of that. I am about to give you the recipe for the absolute best salsa I have ever made.

In a large roasting pan put in a single layer:

Tomatoes (any variety), stemmed, halved-cut side down (Note: small tomatoes don't need to be halved)
Peppers (combination of jalapeno and others) sliced open, seeded, membranes removed
Bell Peppers (any color but red add a special yumminess) stemmed, seeded, halved. Placed cut side down
Large red or yellow or both onion. Skinned, halved. Cut side down
2 heads Garlic. Cut off just enough of the end to open the cloves. Place in pan cut side up

Drizzle a small amount of olive oil over the vegetable being sure to hit the garlic heads.

In the oven at 250 degrees for 1 1/2 - 2 hours. Then turn off the oven (keeping the pan in) & let cool.

When cool peel the peppers and tomatoes (note: if using hot peppers, wear gloves!!!!!). The tomatoes will fall out of their skins. If you roasted small tomatoes simple poke a hole in the tomato and they will peel easily too). You may have to scrap some of the hot peppers, the bell peppers will give up their skins easily. Put all veggie meats into a food processor. Add the onion. Squeeze the roasted garlic into the food processor bowl. Add the leaves from one bunch of cilantro.

Pulse until almost smooth. Add a small can of chipoltle peppers in adobo sauce. Pulse until incorporated.

Add salt if desired.

************************************************************************************

Run to your local farmers market and buy up buckets of tomatoes and peppers and go to town! No better time than a 3 day weekend to make and eat bunches of salsa!

We are celebrating the weekend with a Labor Saturday Dusk til Dawn movie fest at the walk-in theatre. We are showing "Robin Hood", "In Bruges", "Monty Python & the Holy Grail", and "Singin' In the Rain". Movies will be led and followed by Looney Tunes cartoons.

Hope your plans are just as fun.

Be well.

I am a happy gluten free vegan.

2010-09-01T07:15:00.003-04:00

That title is for my friend Alex. She knows why. She claims to know all about the benefits of removing animal products and gluten from her diet but refuses to do so herself until she meets someone who has given up though things and is still happy. It's really just a "oh, if I can convince just one person by my actions it will all be worth it" kind of thing. Now if you are reading this and eating animal products on toast don't tell me!

I suppose I need to explain my long absence. I can't really. I have begun to have hand tremors, Small electrical jumps that make my hands ache and jump. My typing has gotten worse and my stamina on the computer has lessened. And, this is a bit embarrassing, when I stop and think about what I want to write next, I fall asleep. But I don't think that explains my absence.

I wanted to take a breath. I wanted to decide if I had anything of value to say. My whining or narrative on my human experience is not particularly unique - with one exception. My view from the chair.

So I had to decide: stop blogging or embrace the roll I have been running from, calling attention to myself as a chair user. I would have to stop being embarrassed by others being inconvenienced by me and instead kick my way into my place in the world. And yes I caught the irony of that phrasing.

So that's what I intend to do. Not to figure out solely how to get by in the world by behaving as though I am no different by rather to document how to build a good life with a chair. I am going to try and connect with other chair users. I am going to try to take a few minutes every morning to look at what I had done the previous day to improve my life (some times it might just be getting by) and what I intend to do next,

I will push myself to be a better person but with a biting wit. OK, god, I'm boring myself. Don't want to fall asleep at the keyboard.

I wish I had come back from my absence with lots of stories, movies to share, books to share, experiences to share. But not so much. The Traverse City Film Festival was fun. The people were fantastic but the movies underwhelming. The people and the city were so much fun that I begged Hubby to quit his job and move there. I already shared my great reads of the last few months. I can offer this:

DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY ON "Eat, Pray, Love"! While I did not hate it with the passion Hubby gives to the subject I do have a sour taste in my mouth a week after seeing it. Right up there with the second movie in the Girl series, "The Girl who Played with Fire". But I digress. "Eat, ..." is so smug and self satisfying. Its message seems to play out as "look at what I did with all my money and self indulgent behaviour, with no financial or emotional concerns, my twelve month vacation paid off with hot romance with a hottie at the end- and a book- and Javier Bardem". It wasn't even pretty people doing things in pretty places. Hubby declares that is has colored his opinion of everything everyone in the cast has done. I don't go that far. I do however hope this saves 2.5 hours of your life for some other endeavor.

Be well and see you tomorrow.

Blown away

2010-07-21T19:37:00.003-04:00

I am packing for a 12 trip to Michigan. It will include Traverse City and the film festival. We have tickets to 11 movies over the 5 days and I am sure we will add more. I will struggle with the accessibility issues but will try to have more fun that frustration. I am planning to not complain. I am planning to have fun. I am a bit nervous that I will spoil things and not keep quiet or notice the fun.

Before I go I have to share two fantastic books:

Anna Quindlin

Every Last One

Stieg Larsson

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest

What can I tell you other than I stayed awake, I stopped playing Zombies, I ignored the housecleaning all to finish these books. The Quindlin book is so fantastically written that I spent the entire book knowing the main character. I felt like I was in this book. I wanted to drink it all in.

The Larsson book is a terrific end to the trilogy. If you haven't read them yet, you are among the few. Run straight out and get them. If you are my daughter Kris and you think I can be a bit light in my book suggestions, these will prove you wrong. And for the first time I can remember the movie, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, the Swedish version, may be better than that wonderful book. Go figure.

Now off with you, go read. Or watch movies.

I will be a better blogger when I come back. I promise.

Be well.

I am having such a satisfying day!

2010-07-12T17:56:00.002-04:00

I am sorry for being such a poor diarist. I assure I have not lost interest in blogging. It remains my favorite accomplishment.

Today I slept until late morning (after staying up well past midnight last night). This afternoon I met 3 nieces (and you know how much I relish being an aunt), my sister in law and mother in law. It was an old fashioned/furnished tea room. Jasmine tea, a champagne glass of a choice of juices, and a two tiered platter that had finger sandwiches, chocolate dipped strawberries, and many dessert options. I had juice and tea.

But then I got to luxuriate in the company of these women I love. After tea, hubby grabbed me some carry out jambalaya and we headed home. We hurried inside, he gave me my steel toed boots so I could sit comfortably and then he rushed off to night school for 5 hours.

The dogs did tricks in exchange for some bread. I warmed the rice dish and then ate it slowly. An episode of "The Closer" was on TV. I am well sated.

I feel happy and content. I am looking forward to this quiet evening. I have lots of choices of how to spend it. TV, art or both at the same time. Read (I finished the last of the trilogy The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest) the newest Anna Quindlen novel. She is a terrific writer. I could read some of my magazines stacked up in the dining room. I could sew. I am 2 weeks behind in my blog reading. I could shop online. I can do any number of things that make me happy-without any guilt. I don't have to make sure the house is clean or I stay awake or get anything ready by tomorrow.

The combination of being well rested, time with friends/loved ones, not hungry, cool, with my dogs, good TV if I want, not too worried about money or bills right now, plans for heading to Michigan including time at the film festival, nothing weighing me down. If I'm not happy right this second, it's never happening.

I am content. Heck, I am happy.

Be well.

Brains!

2010-07-04T13:34:00.003-04:00

I have typed several posts-but they were so whiney I couldn't bring myself to publish them. So I have been off licking wounds that came from a bit of being sick and having come to some not so pleasant self awareness. And zombies. Hubby made a gift of this game ($20 from Target) and we have become obsessed. It is so silly and fun. It reminds us of our old favorite "Zombies Ate My Neighbors". So I have taken this time to think about what I want to do with my life, my blog, etc. And the answer is-Brains- well, I still don't know. I am going to take the next 6 weeks and try to decide. I do know that I am focused on getting all of our credit cards paid off, some savings and in general being on top of our money. We paid off 2 major bills in the last few months, eased up hundreds of dollars in monthly obligations. Our property tax is now greatly reduced thanks to the new legislation. All of these things will make it easier for Hubby to retire.

We talk about him retiring to take on another profession. I think he should go into nursing (he is a terrific nurse and I am inspired by the story of Alicia Paulson's husband). I don't think he's decided. I can see where the idea of more school may not be too appealing even though teaching requires 6 credits every 5 years. I keep thinking that if we could afford to take a year without an additional paycheck he could enjoy going back to school instead of to work. Haven't hit him with the idea yet but he does enjoy paydays right now.

So if the Zombies leave any brains in me I hope to begin posting more regularly. I have some post ideas up my sleeves! But to put it in perspective, in the last 2 weeks I HAVEN'T

read any blogs
only checked email twice
done any swaps
bought anything off Etsy
posted here
gone into my craft room
done laundry (Hubby has, thank heavens)
mopped in the kitchen
really cleaned house
read on the back deck
gotten much sleep

But those Zombies do keep coming.

I did find time today to begin to catch up on some blog reading. Apron Thrift Girl is having a give away. Check it out. You have until July 11 to sign up. Several chances to win-random number generator will choose. If you haven't read her blog yet I encourage you to do so. She has been a favorite of mine for some time. She has an interesting point of view.

Be well and watch out for zombies!

I am home bound, no really.

2010-06-16T20:03:00.004-04:00

This is a picture of my son, a guy who is right about most things-the signifigance of this will become clear later.

It never really truly occurred to me that the term "home bound" referred to me. I base this revelation on the recognition that I have very little choice in deciding if I am spending a day home, inside the house, or not. So I think that makes me home bound.

I like my house. I love that my days are usually not filled with appointments and yet I still seem to always be struggling to get everything done. I love that at least once every day I look at my dogs and am overwhelmed with love. I love my patios and yard-every time I leave the house and head to the car I can not help but stop and look at the sheer beauty of all the flowers and plants and bird feeders and patio statues and ... well I love everything about the view from back door to car. But because of my struggle getting back in the house (I can make it in but the odd bounce often makes me askew in my chair) and the fact that we skipped Spring and landed into Summer with temperatures that after short periods of time have me struggling to breathe, I don't head out without having someone around to assist me back inside. So I limit my back deck work until about an hour before Hubby is due home. Think that also makes me house bound.

I don't drive. We deliberately bought a van I could adapt and drive. We talk about arranging driving lessons but never do it. I have figured out that using a manual chair and having my rather embarrassing physical strength limitations that mean if I drive somewhere and there is no curb cut out or the ramp stops working in the van or I need gas or if the place I am going is up a steep ramp I am stuck. I guess I could drive just when Hubby is in the car, perhaps to help with driving on road trips. But right now I don't know how to drive. I don't take the accessible bus because I no longer have anyone to help me with those same issues (I don't have to worry about gas with the bus) that make me nervous about driving alone. When you include the fact that I have not figured out how to open the ramp gate so I can head down the ramp when I am alone, well, I guess that also contributes to me being house bound.

I have spent so much of my adult life waiting for my life to begin. Even before my accident. I have a long history of being a bit of disappointed with my choices (I use to believe the accident was punishment for wasting my life but I no longer feel the world works that way). I have spent many a day heartbroken both before and after the accident. I have spent many days sad becuase of what I was unable to do. And after the accident I would tell myself that my life would be OK again when I got my breathing or my bathroom needs or my blood pressure or wheelchair skills or my wounds healed or, well, you get the idea. In the early days after my accident (after the year of time spent in multiple hospitals) I had to go to work with Hubby 4 days a week because I could not be alone with my Mother coming up on the 5Th day. Even so I considered myself sort of house bound until I could venture out on my own and complete some task that benefited the school. But back then Hubby had to help me go to the bathroom at least once during the day-every day. Then I had the surgery that put me in control of all my own bathroom functions. I stopped being school bound and became what I am now-house bound.

My son believes that everyone should have a job because every one should feel the pride that comes from knowing they have something they can do in exchange for money as well as the idea that there is some place they need to be every day. Not sure I fully agree but Josh is seldom totally wrong.

Instead I am someone who is always struggling to get everything done while having lots of time but doesn't finish reading many books, or work on my art skills every day or finish my sewing projects or regularly use my Criket or master the intricacies of Photo Shop. I don't cook with the herbs on my back deck. I don't keep the downstairs gardens or patio weeded. I don't blog as regularly as I wish I did. Maybe Josh is right. After all when you want to get something done, you give it to a busy person. A person who isn't always stuck in the house but rather stays in by choice.

Be well.

Possibly the easiest craft ever!

2010-06-10T10:09:00.003-04:00

I confess I was inspired by a photo when reading a post by Matsutake. She was inspired by this photo from Anthropologie. She then went on to include a tutorial (which I didn't read). Even thought her post was months ago it was last weekend when the nieces were over for craft day that I thought to make my own t-shirt roses.

I had a bag of t-shirts bought cheaply with the idea of using them for crafts. My niece chopped up 2 for projects she was working on. I didn't want to have to find room for the t-shirt bag so I instead made these roses.

All I did was eye ball cutting strips of fabric (as much as I could get)4" wide (this is a very forgiving craft). Jagged edges and imprecise strips don't matter much. I folded the strips in half lengthwise and using an 18" long doubled thread I began a running stitch along the open end of the strips. I pushed the strips tight onto the thread, adding strips until the thread was nearly filled. I knotted the thread making sure the strips were packed on tightly. I then began rolling the threaded strips, keeping the bottom even, making a stitch occasionally on the bottom to secure.

Depending on what I decide to do with these floppy flowers I will add a circle of fabric to the back for stability and a pin back or maybe just stitch onto a pillow or add to my new gardening hat. Who knows? I think next a white floppy one like the photo. Maybe wider strips and a larger flower over all.

Be well.

The view from the back

2010-06-10T09:49:00.002-04:00

I am sitting in the doorway, my only way in and out of the house, to the back deck. I love love love this view. Earlier this week I was told to stay off my deck, that it was in imminent danger of collapsing. The next morning I called my oldest friend (definitely oldest meaning been friends the longest, not oldest as in age!) asking for advice and she took care that the deck was repaired before noon. So I am back to loving my deck.

Just outside the door, to the left, are pots of herbs: 2 pots of thyme,and pots of dill, basil, lavender, rosemary, sage, lemon balm, and tarragon. Then on to the shelves with their pots of mint, chocolate mint, apple mint, peppermint, marjoram, and oregano. Then around to a big pot of parsley and cilantro. Then a vintage redwood deck chair with a vintage cushion and bright pillow. After this all the plants are flowers. Lots of flowers. And a fantastic bird house!

I love all the color - in the plants and fabrics and furniture. Check out the denim rug. I have treated the deck as a room with seating area, area rug, and lighting. There are solar lights along the deck railing and stake lights in 3 of the plants (these lights change colors).

All along the 70' ramp are small solar lights. My brother made wooden holders for the lights. The look terrific-I'll include a picture when I post photos of the downstairs patio.

But for now I am just loving the view out the back!

Be well.

A thrifting we will go..

2010-06-09T12:40:00.003-04:00

It is no secret that I love thrifting. The thrill of getting something that can't just be bought in a store, something that won't show up in every one's house. I also love that Goodwill stores and eBay are always wheelchair friendly. Oh how I miss estate sales and garage sales and flea markets! There is only so much a hubby can be dragged to without the guilt eating me alive. And so I miss out on the best thrifting. I do enjoy what I get to do. I love that I want to have a colorful stash of felted cashmere-and now I do. I wanted a stash of vintage quilt tops-and now I have a large stash. I do okay.

One of my favorite thriftings secrets comes from reading the blog Apron Girl Thrift. If you haven't read here you might want to give her a look very soon. On Friday, June 11, she is giving away a thrift box filled with secret treasures. So go and read the entry, maybe read a few more, but definitely leave a comment on the give away entry so you will be entered for a chance to win.

Oh the postings I have wanted to share over the last nine days.

Good luck! Be well.

Blogger sucks?

2010-06-09T07:40:00.003-04:00

Well I promised myself that I would publish a posting every day in June and yet...I have been trying to log on to blogger every day but would get a "blogger unavailable" page. I considered switching service providers but was unsure of how to notify. Obviously Blogger is now available so I am going to publish all the posts I intended to and see if I can catch up. Good thing it is still early in June!

Be well.

Drama, drama, drama

2010-06-04T09:58:00.005-04:00

I have never been close to my brother. My mother says that until we were 10 we did everything together. We are only 10 months apart-I was adopted and older than him. I was all about books and school. He was about things I never knew about and had a learning disability which made school a nightmare for him. He grew up, married his high school girlfriend, became a "granola" guy and had three kids, divorced, went six years without spending much time with his kids. I grew up, married my college boyfriend, had three kids, divorced, remarried, went six years without contact with my daughters, became a gluten-free vegan with a love of local and home grown food and an aversion to chains that destroy small businesses (in other words "granola").

As my Mother was dying her stress seemed to stem from her wish that my brother and I would get along. And not just civil, but the close. Ironically, after she died we had to work together to do all the things she did for Dad-keep house, grocery shop, doctor, pay bills, and more. We realized that his dementia had been in check because she kept him going. As we worked together we talked on the phone every day. He had some serious drama over a relationship break up and I helped him by talking to his sad self in an effort to help him feel better but in other ways too. When they got back together, we were still talking every day. A year after Mom died we had become close. Two years after we were friends.

Yesterday my brother and his girlfriend, the one I am civil to but cautious about, and her son came up to my house and worked their butts off! Walls and cabinets washed, shrubs trimmed, gardens and walkways weeded. Amazing stuff. I am so grateful. Go figure.

Be well.

I love a second (or 3rd or 4th or 5th) chance

2010-06-01T12:01:00.003-04:00

I took these photos last Christmas eve in a state park in Florida. There are over 200 of them. I just picked these randomly. I bought Photoshop 8 but have no idea how to use it (the case came with just the cd). Just another idea I had that went no where.

As I have gotten older the one thing I am most sure of is that I am not sure of much. I do remain resolved in my belief that there are two sides to everything. So strange as it may sounds but it is when my disability causes me to realize that I am physically fragile and prone to near death experiences that I get to experience the other side of the coin too. And that is I get to make a choice: I can sit around and wait for death or I can choose to make a life.

It really isn't that dramatic or Lifetime movie inspired. After all bills must be paid, family dealt with, dishes done and houses cleaned. I can't just take off and travel the world-can't afford it and no one to go with. So the real question is, how do I choose to take joy in what will end up proving to be my real life?

I'm not sure. So since I do that I am someone who responds to rules I am going to put some more personal rules in place. I can't fix everything at once. Let's see if it really does take 21 days to make a habit.

Thanks for indulging me.

Be well.

Consider yourself warned-definately a medical post

2010-05-27T14:50:00.002-04:00

I am tired and feel like Ive been run over. No car involved but there was the suction machine, quad coughs, and lots saline down the throat. Last night I struggled to breath. It began after dinner about 7.

As much as I would like to thought of a woman with a chair-a chair that is just a thing. Not even the biggest thing. Episodes like last night push that hope farther away.

It started with my inability to breathe deeply. With my large trache (a 9) I can usually work up just about anything. Last night, no go. I started with my inhalers. They usually loosen things up and get me coughing the block out. No help. On to the saline. I squirt it straight through my trache into my lungs (it has a feeling similar to drowning). I keep drinking water, all this to help loosen up the phlegm in my chest.

Still struggling to breath and now coughing uncontrollably, Hubby runs and get the suction machine. If you don't know what this is consider yourself extremely lucky. It is a small motorized machine that uses a long tube with a container on one end, a "mini vacuum" in the center, and a tube that I put down my trache to my lungs. In the hope of sucking out some mucous.Didn't do much.

On to quad coughs from hubby. Quad coughs are two handed pushes on the abdomen. There were many, they were rugged. Not much help.

The coughing subsided pretty much on its own. I was afraid to lay down for fear of another big coughing fit. So I stayed up. Eventually I went to bed exhausted.

I slept fitfully. I was so sore, so much pain, so many spasms.

In the old days I would have headed to the emergency room. But I knew hubby was trying to finish his class (graduate level online class for his license renewal). I was scared of the breathing but hated pulling him away from his computer more than I had.

Made it through the night. Today has been fitful, still uncomfortable. Lots of shakes. Jerky hands.

I had a point in posting all this. Oh yeah, I guess no matter how much I pretend, I'm not just a woman in a chair. Today I feel fragile.

I'll reflect on this and write again soon. I hope.

Be well.

I am now starting to believe in S.A.D

2010-05-23T16:34:00.002-04:00

Has anyone ever told you that you seem to display the tendencies of Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder? With a family that has no shortage of psychologists and those who work with the developmental disabled it isn't tough to get your personality diagnosed. I have lots of reason to dislike winter: moving a wheelchair over ice and snow is miserable, the inability to find and then wear a winter coat (most seem to be so long and as such hard to wear), a difficulty breathing in a recycled area full of dry and or dirty air, hard time with temperature control, and inability to get in to most of my friend's homes and winter weather doesn't lend itself to sitting outside for a chat and the fact that all those other difficulties tend to result in a shortage of outings. So despite all those things being reason enough to display symptoms of SAD there is also the observation that a beautiful day just makes me crazy happy!

It is 89 degrees today. Sunny. Hot. Everything seems so beautiful. I am going to do a few "must" do tasks and then head out to finish up the patios. They are so great, full of color. I am going to take my camera out with me-I intend to post the words and then add in the pictures. When the patios are full of plants, the garden forms full or ready for more plants, the bird feeders full, and the sun shining, I am happy.

It could be I sat while my son, and daughter in law and hubby ate brunch and everyone chatted and leisurely hung out - the chef at the restaurant being one of my best friend's children, and a charming young man in his own right. It could be that even though yesterday I smashed my IPhone by running my wheelchair over it and had to go to AT&T for a replacement (where a sweet young lady waited on me and the phone company did not gouge me, I was pleasantly surprised with the cost). It could be that I bought more flower pots and have things to plant. It could be that I wandered the Walmart garden area and know what we will go back and get next weekend. I could be how much I am enjoying this eating plan. It could be that Hubby is almost through with his online class and that will be a big relief to him (and me by extension).

Or I guess it could be that I have S.A.D. Today my house is a big mess, the series finale of "Lost" is tonight, and laundry is piled up. And well, lets face it, no one looks at me and my life and follows it with the exclamation "I want to be just like her!" Don't care.

I will do Taco Sunday (a batch of spiced TVP & a batch of soy sausage crumbles mixed with taco seasoning and spicy diced tomatoes and green chilies, freshly made guacamole and pico de gallo, lettuce, soy cheese & cheddar cheese, taco sauce, all on tortilla chips or in taco shells). Ready in 20 minutes and delicious. Every week is full of days like Taco Tuesday or Taco Friday. My favorite dinner. After dinner I will put my feet in Hubby's lap and say good bye to Jack and Kate, Sawyer, and the hardest of all Desmond. We have spent many many years loving the show, speculating on the meanings. We will miss is.

So, I am off to do a little school project for Hubby then out to the garden and back in for Taco Sunday and the end of "Lost". That feels like happy to me.

Hope to be back to posting regularly with projects to show.

Be well.

Warning: Lots of Photos! Lilacs, thunder storms and a scared flat coat retriever

2010-05-12T09:38:00.002-04:00

It is absolutely pouring rain. The window by my desk is open, I have a cup of hot tea (Tazo Awake) and a sweet but scared of thunderstorms retriever under my chair. There is a huge lilac bush under the open window and it smells fantastic. It is the kind of day that begs for some computer surfing. How could I resist?

In my email, pictures of these babies. If possible they make me feel even cozier.

Also in my email, an ad for Anthropologie
The ad included a "tour" of the beach house. Filled with things like:

Some of the things I am dying to try and make on my own:
I have been looking for a few party projects (the reason is a surprise). I think these look like fun. Simple, using scrap papers or old books and simple gluing or sewing.

These are just letters printed out on card stock, small holes punched in the top and then strung onto string.

Or this one is the wreath tutorial used before but instead of using vintage book pages double sided scrapbook paper was cut to approximately 4" x 6" and used instead.

This is strands of origami cranes. But what if you used that idea and instead strung circles of scrapbook or glued onto card stock & 2-sided circles or other geometric shapes or even photos glued onto patterned card stock,

Lots of ideas, lots of projects. If only I could start to feel like getting something done. Before I head off to pop some popcorn and grab a book I wanted you to know I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST!

Also in my email, a message from Starbucks. Look at what they are going to start carrying, the perfect thing for those times when you are out and about:

In my world, popcorn is considered a perfect food (it may be the one food I would not be able to give up).

I am so happy.

Be well.

Sometimes you just have to keep your head down.

2010-05-11T14:51:00.004-04:00

Last week was full of minefields. Tuesday was the second anniversary of my Mother's death. Even as I write that I feel a pain that is heavy and wearing. Sunday was, of course, Mother's Day which itself is fraught with my own struggles being a mother and missing my Mother and Grandmother. Sunday was also my Mother's birthday and the anniversary of the day we buried her. I can barely make my hands type all those words.

Grief seems so odd to me. I, like everyone, have a few greatest hits of misery. As I look back and feel what those memories make me feel now it makes me wonder how anyone survives emotional pain. How do we ever recover from tremendous feelings of loss? There was a time when my Grandmother felt like the most important person in the world to me. She was so beautiful and smart but most importantly, she was someone who was always ready for some fun. What I wouldn't give to play a few more board games or puzzles with her. Every summer we would visit her in Michigan. On her bed (on the guest room bed for my brother) she would have the top covered with gifts. Fun things like my first camera, my first 2-piece, books, art supplies (even my first bra). I shared her room while we were there. Man, how she snored- practice for married life. We would get up early, 6 a.m. or so, well before my Mom and brother. We would eat cold pizza for breakfast and read the paper together. Her basement had been paneled to make an office for my Grandfather. He passed away before my first birthday but my Grandmother always said he would have liked me. I spent hours in his old office reading, trying to connect with him. Gram and I, we connected right away. I have spent most of my life thinking I was her favorite, even as I grew up I just believed it. What a gift to have someone in your life that no matter how you screw up still always believes you are wonderful! Her birthday is June 14Th-remember to put a flag out for her (or tie one to your antenna), she would like that.

My Mother, beautiful and smart too, but she never knew it. She was someone who always chose joy. My Mother did things simply. She had a magic in her touch, making everything better with a simple gesture or effort. When she received her diagnosis all she talked about was doing whatever she had to do to make it to her grandson, my son's, wedding. With all her efforts, she didn't. I will never forget how much she loved my children. I will never forget how much she liked, befriended and loved my husband. I will never forget the feel of her hand on my face when she would kiss me good bye. Every time she left, even after seeing me in the hospital it was a variation of :

"Love you"

"Love you more"

"No you don't I love you more"

"No, I'm never wrong so I must be right & I love you more"

"Nope, no way, I love you the most"

Depending on long it was going to be until we saw each other again defined the length of that bit of chatter. My daughter, Kris, does this with me now as she leaves for the airport at the end of a visit.

So this Sunday, Mother's Day and all the other internal anniversaries of that day were spent in almost the best way possible. My daughter Kate and her wife Sarah spent Saturday taking me shopping and they spent the night. We had Sunday morning coffee together then they helped me outside with the patios. I spent a few more hours working outside. That evening Josh and his wife Holly arrived for dinner. We sat around the table and ate and drank wine (lots of wine) and talked for hours. I'm still processing what I learned. But most of all I learned that I could enjoy that day, not feel overwhelmed with the pain and grief of missing my Mother.

My daughter Kris called several times and I kept missing her calls. I miss her-I try to just keep thinking about our trip out to see her this summer.

Yesterday and today are pretty quiet. Thoughts roll in, lots of memories. I remember being younger, a young mother of 3. Now all of us getting older as time is allowing us to do. In my head I am no where near fifty. In my dreams I walk. In my thoughts I feel my life choices turning out differently. My life is pretty good. But it's funny, every day since my eldest was born, my first thought when I wake is about my children. I think every good mother I have ever known would say the same thing. Doesn't that make most every day Mothering Day?

Be well.

Indulge me with some family photos of the folks involved in the musings above.

I may have found the fountain of youth!

2010-05-04T13:55:00.004-04:00

I would never have believed it. I would never had attempted it without the encouragement of my daughter Kristi who has been doing it for a month. And if you saw Kristi, you would understand why folks would want to do whatever she is doing. But before talking to Kris about it, I was reading this blog. The blog prompted me to be reading about gluten. So a week ago I did it I became a woman with a hippy animal loving earth loving diet. I chose to eat a vegan gluten free diet. And I haven't even considered looking back yet.

I am awake, alert, and energetic. Not common for me. And it happened so quickly! Just 2 days after I started I began noticing a real difference. Oh, and I'm sleeping. Sleeping good sleep. Now I still notice that I need a lot of sleep (my body really wants 10 hours). And at 9 or 10 at night I am a bit muscle tired from being active all day. Yep 9 or 10 at night. I am staying up til 10 or 11 easily to hand out with Hubby.

I don't miss anything yet. Not Dairy Queen or Starbucks. No more daily Starbucks. Don't seem to need it to get going. I want to do things, I enjoy doing things. I feel younger. I think I look better.

I felt so good this weekend that I had the energy to thrift shop. And Target shop (run right now to your local Target to get that beauty about-a Tiffin box for $20 & it comes in blues too, I'm planning on picking up a blue one this next weekend).

Reading this blog has me hunting for vintage sheets. 3 thrift shops this weekend but all the scores were at the first 2, all the sheets at the first one. Hopefully I can troll another one tonight.

Take a look and tell me what you think. I'm off to clean a little house, work on finishing the back porch, put finishing touches on dinner, do a load of laundry and hopefully wander another GW before watching Jeopardy. All in the next 3 hours. Wish me luck. Me, I think no problem!

Two sheets, a pillowcase(the green/yellow fabric), silk scarf, and a bridal trim with an original price tag of $29-I paid $1. I thought the bridal trim would make a nice gift decoration.

Cute pink apron!

Vintage patterns, unused .50 each.

All in all a fun haul. I don't want to buy anything that has to be stored downstairs. A couple of those dresses look very "Mad Men", don't you think?

Be well.

Is it tacky to blog about give aways?

2010-04-28T07:10:00.005-04:00

If you think it is tacky for me to blog about give aways, just skip this post. If you, like me, find them fun, and feel like the old saying "you can't win if you don't play" is accurate, and you are not buying lottery tickets or heading to Atlantic City any time soon, maybe this is the fun you're looking for. But you need to do this today.

The new blog I told you about earlier, All Things Vintage Sheets, has a weeks worth of separate give aways. The steps are basically the same: check out an etsy shop and leave a comment (1 entry), become a follower of the blog (2nd entry), have a vintage sheet craft to offer up a photo of (3rd entry), become a follower of the All Things Vintage Sheets (yep, a 4th entry), follow the VS blog on Facebook (5th), follow the guest blogger -a new one each day for the last week-on Facebook (6th) and blog about the experience (7th).

So you get the idea, with a little effort you can enter into each day's give aways while maybe discovering some fun blogs and shopping. I know I have bookmarked some more blogs and made a few purchases.

The give aways end April 29th-yes, I know that's tomorrow. If you craft, even if you have never used sheets before, you will find yourself realizing this is a source of some beautiful, unusual fabric. I bet you find yourself itching to go to thrift stores and garage sales and your parents linen closets, and anywhere else you think of in an effort to start your own collection. If you have already discovered the fun of vintage sheets that you will love the chance to add some of these beauties to your fabric stash.

Good luck. Here are some of the blogs involved:

roseylittlethings.com- blog and link to shop

This fat quarter set is just a part of the give away from this shop owner and blogger in charge of the blog All Things Vintage Sheets.

I am hoping to win one because another part of the prize is one of her yummy camera straps. I think you will enjoy the style of both of her blogs.

jane says vintage-blog and link to shop

Isn't this fat quarter set beautiful?
Yep, it's the prize from this very cool shop.

Vintage Urban Girl- shop and contributes to this blog

Like the earthiness of this prize?

Eagerhands - blog and shop

This is just one, and it happens to be my favorite, of the three full sheets you can choose from should you win the giveaway from this shop!

Whimsie Dots- blog and shop

This is a collection of 11 fat quarters! What a way to start a collection and just wait until you see her shop. She says she brings in 20-30 sheets a week that get bundled for the shop. Seems to me this is a shop with something new every week. Pictures of her stock make me oh so envious!

Warm Hugs Design-shop and blog

Don't you love the idea of winning this yummy floral collection?

My Tiny Robot Heart- blog

What do you think about winning this generous, beautiful set?

Pins and Thimbles- shop and blog

She is offering a pattern to make a reinforced cushion out of all these yummy vintage sheets. Super cute.

So make yourself a cup of tea or if you are lucky enough to live somewhere with Spring showing its beautiful head (or a warm Fall day) them pour yourself some herbal ice tea and take a couple hours and enjoy reading some new blogs and browsing some new shops. Bet I see some of you trolling for vintage sheets this weekend. Hope I get there first!

Vintage sheet projects on the way soon.

Be well.

What says Spring to you?

2010-04-22T16:29:00.005-04:00

I struggle with my ability to get in and out of the house safely. I really drool over beautiful Spring days. So while I work on my wheelchairs skills know that I am also working on my gardening skills. It's early but I am hopeful that by May 1 we will have company ready patios! Outdoor movie nights and Friday barbeque (veggies of course) are my idea of dreamy ways to spend the weekends.

And if flowers say Spring to you why not take a look at this new blog, the vintage sheet, written by the oh so wonderful author and shop owner of Posey Gets Cozy. Vintage sheets are an amazing source of fabric-often the 60's & 70's prints are floral. Best reason to check it out sooner than later is the giveaway.

Off to spend the weekend with family at a cabin in a state park. One of my BIL's has rented a pontoon boat for Saturday-the guys are planning to hoist me over the side in my chair. Can't wait!

Be well

When I was 29 or 30...

2010-04-17T18:23:00.002-04:00

When I was 29 for my birthday my Mom made me a book titled "29 things I love about you", complete with little pen drawings. For my thirtieth came a similar book entitled "30 great things about being 30", I loved them. This year I received one birthday card. The card itself was very funny, but it was the note inside that brought back the feelings that came with the books from my Mom. It was from my dear friend, the one my kids call Aunt. We became friends when our first husbands, who were best friends, threw us together.

That was 31 years ago. Our exes no longer speak. You could say we got custody of each other in our divorces. I love my friend. I don't have a lot of friends. I believe that true friendship requires commitment and affection. I have read that card over and over this week thinking abut the nature of friendship.

I have lots of good acquaintances. I even have many folks I care about but I have few real friends. I was lucky enough to celebrate my birthday with real friends. Friends who have sadly had the opportunity to prove they are there for me in the worst of times. They have also shown they will be there in the good times.

Being my friend isn't always easy. Any time you do anything you have to figure out if the wheelchair can go, then there is getting me there. And well, I come with issues that often involve snot and urine. Sounds good, huh?

Now you can really begin to see why someone who puts in the effort to be my friend would be so lovable.

On that note I want to leave you with a bit of craft: Towel Origami !

As the website says, a way to leave a happy surprise in every toilet stall you're in. Head to the website for details and other pictures and instructions. I will be trying to spread some TP joy around the city.

Be well.

Sure signs of Spring

2010-04-13T07:04:00.005-04:00

I could try to explain where I have been: I was busy turning 49 last week or maybe that my burn has been giving me enough pain to be a bit distracting or the fact that I spend my waking hours thinking about sleep and my sleeping hours laying awake or that I got to spend a great afternoon with one of my favorite nieces or maybe it was planning last Saturday's bit of "birthday" time with children and friends (small group with too much food and the debut of our outdoor movie theater!) or maybe I have been distracted by all the florals and signs of Spring!!! Signs like these:
I framed last years Traverse City Film festival poster and included a self made mat that I designed to have a bit of a floral paper/quilt look.

Or it could be these floral totes from Target in the Liberty of London line.

Or it could be the view from the living room window that includes our beautiful red bud tree. Or it could be these flowers (birthday flowers from Hubby) that we arranged in a favorite vase and put on the side table in the living room-aren't they gorgeous? Even better in person!

Or it could be this fantastic lamp shade that has replaced the serious linen one on the library side table (I love this shade, again Target).

Or maybe it is these oh so beautiful fabrics from Joann's (the green print and the orange print) or even better the amazing prints from Nauvoo Quilt Company on etsy
(and yes, if you think you see a print devoted to mathematics equations and a print that highlights Lincoln you are oh so right).

Or maybe it is the combination of those fabrics plus, well, all these fabrics. So beautiful and hard to believe that I go so many gorgeous fabrics from Joann's. But lots of other prints from Nauvoo Quilt -each one great- and then 4 fantastic prints from Ikea. The Ikea prints are primarily white with large prints (one, a bird and birdcage print has be tapped by my niece with a request for a skirt-what do you think I said?). Those Ikea prints-the bird print, another of doors, another of origami animals and yet another of handwriting-were so unusual that instead of my usual 1/2 yard I bought 3 yards of each. With the exception of the bird print I still have no plans for the fabric. I was thinking they would be great quilt backings. Oh and the Nauvoo Quilt fabrics-I went to the site to buy the math piece and ended up with six other fabrics too.

Another shot of five of the fabrics from Joann's. Its hard to see that great linen on the back left. I love how these all look together. I'm toying with an idea that I hope to share soon.

Maybe my favorite sign of Spring is my furry babies laying in the sun out on the back deck.
Or there are still these storage boxes in the living/dining room under the bench. My plan is that they will be a great place to quickly stash projects I'm working on at the table when it becomes time for dinner.

I also love these pillows from, of course, Target.

I haven't even shown you the views from the bedroom and library windows or the progress we have made on the gardens and patios. But I have to save something for later.

Hope Spring is offering itself up to you these days too! Me, I can't get enough of all of it-heck I even want to give our Governor a kiss and thank him for daylight savings (and he's a
Republican). No answer for that unless it's Spring Fever!!!!

Be well.

Welcome April!

2010-04-03T19:38:00.003-04:00

April showers bring May flowers and mud and ... I love Spring. Is there any better feeling in the world than the first few days when it is warm enough to wear just a t-shirt outside? When the ground is warm enough for you to consider planting and the sun is shining and the patio furniture makes an appearance, how can you help but feel full of possibilities?

I know that one of my Internet friends struggles with this time of year. For her it is the time when her mind turns to flashbacks of her time in the hospital and what that trauma did to her life. I would never want to diminish her struggles and her PTSD.

My flashbacks are usually in the winter. Spring continues to be about breathing in some fresh air. Spring is about flowers and gardening. My PTSD is relieved with the newness of the outdoors, the being outside helps me to kick some of that melancholy.

So as I continue to Spring clean or rather clean up what a week of Spring Break has done to the house I give a little thought to Earth Day. In honor of Earth Day a favorite web site of mine, Dollar Store Crafts, has issued a challenge. No spending money on new craft supplies in the month of April. I am sure this is a challenge Hubby will enthusiastically support.

So this week I will be posting losts of photos of the extravagant shopping I did in March (and through April 2 ) up until I read about the challenge. Given my stash and the shopping I did this week I'll be lucky to even notice a dent in my fabrics this month. Maybe I'll encourage some friends to craft!

How about doing it too? Let's try for a stash buster every 3 days. Wish me luck!

Be well.

I am not a bitter cripple today

2010-03-31T10:58:00.000-04:00

Today is my 20th anniversary. As we prepared to head out for the day,driving to Cinncinati for a day of art museums and Ikea, Hubby and I each commented in essence " life is good".

Today there is no work, no where we have to be, money in our pockets, a frappacino in my cup holder, and a beautiful day - crazy perfectly beautiful day. We bought a used projector as a gift to each other to commemorate the occasion. Something we have wanted for years so we could show movies outside on the patio. We are giddy with excitement about using it.

I know the realities of our marriage. Every day my husband facilitates my lower body dressing. Every day my husband is responsible for getting me into my chair in the morning, out in the evening, followed by stretching, bandage changes, rolling me to a side, positioning 5 pillows around me, and then doing it again in 4 hours & every 4 hours until we get up. And those are the easy days- and trust me not all the days and nights are easy.

In the face of that this man has tried to give me a normal life. Sometimes I question it and doubt it. But today I choose to feel lucky and happy.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No one likes a whiney cripple!

2010-03-24T14:47:00.002-04:00

So to have been quiet so long-am struggling with pain and medication issues and was afraid that trying to write would result in a "woe is me" posting. In reality I am not so woeful, but I am struggling. So I thought I would talk about something else entirely.

I am in a food rut. We have been scaling back on eating out. It's just the two of us so eating in does not always prove to be cheaper. By that I mean that I am capable of thinking, while at a grocery store or farmer's market, that I will be cooking several courses for each of the three meals a day I will be preparing in the coming week.

Truth is, I never fix breakfast, Hubby packs his own lunch, I seldom eat during the day, and dinner is - well, there is the rut.

Each week the grocery list includes the staples. From the big box store comes: tomatoes, lemons, avocados, English cucumbers, feta, shredded cheddar, and red onions. From the grocery: cilantro, fresh jalapenos, canned petite diced tomatoes with green chilies, taco shells, taco seasoning, french bread.

Then the dinners. Starts out with taco night. Then the left over taco meat goes into a spicy vegetable soup that is served with chopped cilantro and avocado on top (that is at least 2 meals), sometimes the soup is served with Greek salad. Greek salad appears a couple times a week. Then there is the dinner of tomatoes with chilies, veggie sausage crumbles and pinto beans over rice. Maybe pasta, sausage crumbles and tomatoes. Or the new one of veggie bacon made into BLTs with Greek salad. Everything sort of runs into everything else.

But for now we seem to like it. Off to reheat the soup and make some guacamole. Man I'm hungry.

Be well.

I got my mojo workin'-well, not so much

2010-03-15T08:04:00.003-04:00

To say I'm struggling would be an understatement. 2 weeks ago my pants became drenched. Not wanting to spend the day in wet pants I stuck a hand towel between my skin and pants and then turned on the hair dryer. Ended up with dry pants and a set of burns that extend from my chest to my thigh. When the pain wasn't driving me a bit crazy, the exhaustion and sleepiness from the meds was.

I have been groggy and unkempt-I haven't had the energy to wash my hair for the last 2 weeks. While I can pony up a few hours of energy, I have been struggling to enjoy anything. It's hard when all you can think about is sleep.

But things seem to be getting better. The nightly tending to the burns and the antibiotics seem to be paying off. The fact that it is after 8a.m. and I have had coffee and yogurt-heck that I haven't fallen asleep in the bathroom and am still sleeping there, is an improvement.

But lest you think I have not spent my few hours of alert behavior each day wisely (oh, and in case you were wondering, every time I sat at the computer, yep, sound asleep) I offer you a few of the projects I finished:

First, the fabulous wreath. As a decoration for a booth at the Flower and Patio show (theme this year is books) I made this wreath using about to be discarded French grammar books. Based on a tutorial from here. As I post this I notice she has taken the wreath and made it an item for sale in her etsy shop -$50. I have other book projects to show you soon.

It's that time of year to start the seedlings. And I did. 120 seed starting cells.A week later they looked like this. Today I begin transplanting to a larger home. We also install the cover on our little in house greenhouse. We need to keep the cats from continuing to enjoy a green snack. We also bought a greenhouse light to get the plants through these gray days and come out ready for Mother's Day weekend planting.

I started seeds for cucumbers, yellow squash, acorn squash, butternut squash, basil, dill, cilantro, garlic chives, black eyed susan vine, purple coneflowers, and striped marigolds. I decided to buy all our pepper and tomato plants. I'll keep you posted each week on the garden.

And if the garden doesn't do enough to say Spring is on the way-I went shopping for a bit of Spring at Target last night. I ended up with pillows, bins, flower pots, etc. from this new line. Go browse, enjoy. Can't wait to see what I do with it.

Here's hoping for enough energy and caffeine to make it work.

Be well.

I like free stuff-how 'bout you?

2010-03-05T18:58:00.003-05:00

I don't do this often but I think you might like the links. A nice read, the blog Love Actually, is having a giveaway. Go take a look. The jeweler that sponsored the contest, The Vintage Pearl, has such beautiful, romantic jewelry. This is the kind of "mother" jewelry that I think is just so perfectly sentimental. Hope you like it too. Be sure to take a look before March 10 11:59pm est.

Be well. Real post later today or tomorrow.

Oscar Party, Anyone?

2010-03-04T12:19:00.003-05:00

I love the Oscars. I don't think I have ever missed watching the show (I don't count sleeping through parts). The awards just a few weeks after my accident I was in rehab with a TV that didn't work-my nurse for the evening and Hubby moved my bed across the room (I had no roommate at the time) so I could watch the show. For most of my life I remember going to try to see all the nominees with my Mom and then watching the show together-either in person or on the phone. Nights like that I always miss her a bit more.

So maybe it is a sign of my age that I don't plan big Oscar parties or outings anymore. I am not sure we know of anyone else in our "crowd" (very small crowd, would fit in an elevator) who is as in to movies as we are. By Sunday we will have seen all the best picture nominees (I have to say that expanding to 10 did not give me 10 films to love). I will root for the ones that have no chance of winning ("Up", "An Education", "Precious"). But I digress.

If YOU are having an Oscar party I want to share some of the great ideas I have found:

1. "Up" cupcakes. Trust me, these are so easy. Get the ideas for these and lots of other movie themed treats at bakerella.com.

2. Oscar Bingo. Thanks to How About Orange for the link to this pdf of bingo cards. No idea if it is even possible to win but what fun it could be.

3. A copy of the official Oscar ballot -use it to make predictions and amaze your friends. Or if you're like me and vote with your heart, endure much laughing and scorn as you fail to predict any winners except one ("Up" for best animated though it might see an upset by "Fantastic Mr. Fox". Great films, tough category this year).

4. And don't forget what is becoming a blog classic here-the cupcakes with the pictures of famous folks found here.

5. My 2 cents about the 10 best picture nominees:

"Avatar" Saw it in Imax 3D which makes most things look good. I liked it but felt like I has seen it all before in other Cameron films. Plus fiber optics.
"The Blind Side" Typical Disney sports film. Good stuff, pleasant diversion and there is nothing wrong with that. A showcase for a mouthy blonde. In the end still a story of some white people saving a black man.
"District 9" Interesting story, in some ways more so than "Avatar" but gory. Saw it on DVD which is not as fair to the film. Have to say I'd liked it more once it was over. Appreciate the uniqueness of the vision but can't imagine watching it again.
"An Education" Perfect. Can't wait to see it again.
"Hurt Locker" I just don't get where folks think this is so brilliant. I think I need to see it again. I thought the scenes were forced and the acting stiff. Idea is cool and the vision, to make you feel as if you are there, is admirable.
"Precious" Can not say enough good things about this movie. See it.
"Up" Love it. Still great after 3 viewings.
"Up in the Air" Want to see it again. My first response was "I like it" but I didn't love it. Later thinking about it the performances felt powerful and real. I love the scene where he gives his photos to his sister.
& 10. "A Serious Man" and "Inglorious Bastards" are on the to-watch list for between now and Sunday night.

Hopefully you are making plans for your own Oscar party.

Be well.

The best word to describe winter is blucky!

2010-03-01T10:40:00.003-05:00

I am just not a winter fan. Wheelchairs and slush and snow do not happily mix. Winter coats don't fit right but the big suck is -NO SUNSHINE! Yes, I understand why, I just don't like it!

So in the interest of feeling sunnier I offer the following suggestions; first, how about a laugh? My cousin sent me this youtube link. She reminds of Roseanne. She also seems to be courting my demographic!

Next, I am going to spend my afternoon making fun throw pillows. I am thinking of a linen pillow with a big floppy flower in the center made from t-shirt fabric. I got the idea here. Goofy me didn't get her fun sense of humor (the picture of her inspiration and the story she wrote to go with it is really an Anthropology model-beautiful model and story-ahhhh).

I will take photos to share. But rest assured, while I will love the look of the new pillows, Hubby will find them irritating and will toss them aside whenever he is looking to sit where they are. Luckily they bounce.

Be well.

Toyota, Kia, Ford-in the end...

2010-02-25T07:21:00.003-05:00

8 years ago my Kia Sportage rolled one and half times. The windshield popped out. The roof crushed in. The Kia Sportage had met all industry standards prior to being sold in the U.S. At the approximate time of my accident there were 14 others of similar conditions-same model car, bought at about the same time, produced in the same factories, the cars had approximately the same mileage, and the accidents were very similar in that the cars were all going about 60-65 mph, swerved and rolled one and half times. All involved roof crush. The difference in our crashes, we were the only ones with survivors.

We spent the next few years with lawyers and lots of build up to a court case. Very quickly the court case was over and we lost. The jury, made up of six people one of whom was an ex insurance company loss executive (who should have been excluded by our attorneys as any "Law and Order" fan could tell you) who slept through most of the testimony and served as jury foreman and who led the jury to agree that the first question in the instructions for the jury should prompt them to toss the case. And they did. They waited only long enough to finish the lunch they had ordered from a popular downtown restaurant. They ordered before they began discussing the case. When you Google our names the court case makes up the majority of hits.

My point in bringing this up is related to the content of many NPR stories. I listen to the Toyota issues with interest. When our Kia case was over I began looking for answers. I had expected to get them from the court case and when I didn't I began to dig on my own. I learned that windshields are designed to pop out under many circumstances and because this is an expected and desired happening cars are suppose to be designed to keep the roof up when it happens. In the early Kia Sportage the roof was in large part held up by the windshield. But it met U.S. standards.

As I did my research I found thousands of complaints online about the Kia Sportage. Complaints about the windshield and the struggles when it was necessary to replace the windshield or the leaky seal around it. I also found that many others had the same problems I did with the clutch needing to be replaced at 50,000-just past warranty. There were also remarkable similarities regarding brake issues. The Kia Sportage had over a dozen recalls.

None of this made news. But not long after our court case stories about roof crush in trucks and other SUV's began creeping into the press. The stories pointed out the inadequacy of the out dated tests used on vehicles that show a predilection to roll but fail to reinforce the roof (a reinforcement that we later learned would have cost approximately $15 per car when you factor in the development and installation of the part. We were able to determine that cost because Kia put that part in their cars sold in other parts of the world. But the U.S. did not require the part to meet standards for sale here. Let alone the idea of installing a roll cage -the hardware used to reinforce race cars and jeeps.)

I believe the roll of government is to protect its people. Just that. You can put a lot under that umbrella of protection. So I ask that you think about a few things as the Toyota story plays out- first, should you be able to decide how much safety you can expect for your dollars. Are the only ones who can expect state of the art safety the folks who can pay top dollar? Second, should companies be required to submit to extensive product testing and then make the data available? Third, what do you expect your representatives to do with the information coming to light with the Toyota hearings? Fourth and finally, will any of the information about the car industry and the process to determine it meets industry standards change your life, in any way?

I keep listening to the stories. I listen because my story could have been so different.

Be well.

How much do I love this photo?

2010-02-22T13:04:00.003-05:00

When you get a perfect moment I hope you are lucky enough to get a photo.

Last weekend was our family winter holiday. For many reasons we refer to it as "Sears Day". We rent a former officer's home at a local state park. It is large enough for all of us to stay over comfortably and have gathering spots to eat and hang out. Love it there. Most of all, love having all the kids together with us. Mom would have loved it-one of the last things she wrote to me was a note in one of my journals-she said that this get together outside of the crazy Christmas holidays was her favorite time of year. Mine too.

This is the photo we finally got to-after a few shots. I think the first one is going up on the wall-blown up.

We are far from perfect. We have issues and history and rivalries and everything else but we also have this. And when we do, I feel lucky.

Be well.

Three day weekends lead to a life of...but 4 day weekends?

2010-02-16T14:09:00.002-05:00

I love me a good 3 day weekend. Means all the usual errands and parent tending chores get done with a whole day left over for fun. That is unless you are preparing for a 4 day weekend complete with ALL the children!

That means that this week I need to wake up, eat something besides yogurt and Mike Sell's Good 'n Hot Chips, and get some stuff done. I have a house to clean, presents to wrap, and even the hope of making a few things.

I have a friend who is participating in the local home and garden show next month. The theme is books. And so with a very small budget and not much energy she has asked for help in putting together their booth. I am excited. I promise lots of photos soon (hey while running errands this weekend we bought a big -24- pack of batteries).

And now I really do need to wake up and get to work. On that note, the doc thinks that my sleepiness is tied in with the heart thing. Trying some new things, seemed better already until a desperate need for sleep that has lasted 19 hours.

If hubby works late I may be able to pull off looking like I was busy all day!

Be well.

Hey, maybe I can post from my iPhone now

2010-02-12T10:39:00.000-05:00

I downloaded an app(blogpresslite) to be able to post from my phone. It looks like I am going to struggle figuring out how to add photos and links. But the big news is- the project with the pretty girl & the number should be done soon.

Be well

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Back from my trip to the deepest, darkest...here

2010-02-10T15:07:00.005-05:00

Not all of my time has been spent sleeping, think of sleeping, talking about sleeping, wondering why I'm so sleepy or always sleeping, fretting over all the sleeping or trying not to sleep. Not all of it, but a lot of it has been. I come to you now fuzzy headed and a bit goofy-you'll have to let me know if you can tell the difference.

Lest you think I sleep all of the time; a few things for you to see.

I am starting a new side bar section: Pantry essentials. I have always wanted to write a cookbook. In talking about it with a dear friend who is a bit cooking challenged I promised that when I did it would include such a list of pantry must haves. I will try to highlight a recipe and an essential each week.

This week it is a few items to get us started. Everyone has to have a go-to recipe for those days when making dinner seems incredibly daunting. This is mine. Greek Salad & Jazzed up Dirty Rice. The pantry items:

Zataran's Dirty Rice mix
Canned diced tomatoes (with green chilies if you like it extra spicy)
Olive oil (duh-everyone needs this)
Lemons

Using an essential tool-the rice cooker- I tossed in the rice mix, a can of tomatoes, water and some optional ingredients: pinto beans and a package of vegetarian sausage crumbles. I also added extra rice to make a bigger batch for leftovers and because I love rice. Toss it in, turn it on, and forget it. It made it and kept it hot for both Hubby's dinner & my dinner with my friend later.

The salad. Simple stuff-romaine lettuce, chopped from a bag, to which I added tomatoes, cucumber, onion and grated lemon peel (stay with me here) and -hey I'm adding another essential (this is a very pantry dependent quick meal)-Cavendar's Greek Seasoning. At this point come the extras: feta cheese, banana pepper rings (jar-a really large Sam's Club jar in our fridge because that is so how we roll), Green olives, jarred marinated artichokes and the dressing. In a small jar or plastic container with a tight lid I mixed olive oil, juice from a lemon, a squeeze of Dijon mustard and just a bit of garlic red wine vinegar (I love vinegars and making dressing so I tend to have a love of different vinegars). I do equal vinegar and oil because I like vinegar but usually dressing is 2 parts oil to 1 part vinegar. Then shake until it is all blended. If it is to tart for your liking add tiny bits of honey or sugar and keep shaking.

Making dressing is so easy. If you have a jar, a few things in your fridge and pantry and you can do it. You can have just one vinegar (make it balsamic) and olive oil or vegetable oil and stuff rummage through the fridge and you can make great dressing. To the oil and vinegar add orange marmalade or some other jelly/jam and a spoonful of Dijon mustard. Or you could add Parmesan cheese and Italian seasoning. Or ketchup and honey for a type of French dressing. So easy.

Enough said about my lazy dinner.

Everyone intrested in recycle/upcycle crafting needs to run to their local library and borrow this book. I can't imagine wanting to look at it frequently-to me this it the kind of book that screams library. The pictures are so cool that even a sleepy head like me is ready to rush out and craft. 1000 Ideas for Creative Reuse. 1000 cool photos, no tutorials or details, just photos.

How about those hedgehogs? I have linked to this tutorial before but this time when I had a swap for a pincushion I decided to try making the hedgehogs myself from recycled felted sweaters. While I need to go buy more eyes to finish the grey one, I kind of love them. I think mine needed another row of ruffles. I was lazy and cut thinner ones from sweater so that I didn't have to fold them to begin ruffling them. And I love my button noses and eyes verses the embroidered ones. Did you catch the heart button on their chests?

My other craft was the Valentine's day button fairy for a swap. I don't know about this. Fun to make but don't like receiving them. Just not my taste.

And don't worry about me sleeping alone all the time. I have company, but he's a pillow hog.

Be well.

When you have oh so many Valentines who are not your Sweetie

2010-02-06T18:45:00.004-05:00

All of us need to do this wonderful project. It comes to you from a very crafty blogger A Beautiful Mess. All you need is paper, a black sharpie and a photo of a loved or well liked one. So cool!

Maybe you recognize or even compete for the affection of some of her loved ones shown above.

Other ideas include gifting homemade or store bought cupcakes adorned with your, or a loved ones, or a beloved crush's picture something like this:

Maybe you could do the cast of your friend or beloved's favorite movie or band. This would even work for those of you with feelings towards a Star Wars, Star Trek or Lord of the Rings fan. Would even work for your favorite young one.

And if that isn't enough scoot on over to My Paper Crane as she puts together simple crafts for Valentine gift bags.

I love Valentine's Day. Not the forced flowers and candy but the sweet goofy conversation hearts and homemade valentines and chance to give those little valentines to your friends and good acquaintances. If you don't get all caught up (when I worked in an office the competition was fierce)in thinking $$ spent = passion + love then it can be fun. Heck, go to your significant other, the one who treats you well all year, and declare it an off the hook holiday. Then go forth and send notes and little gifts to your nieces and nephews and friends you never see and your adult children and those friends you're fond off and just think fondly of so often and don't know what to do with those warm feelings. Burn cd's of a band you have discovered and think they'll like, send pez, copy a photo of a fun time, hand write a recipe and drop them an actual written note. Just connect with affection.

And while you are at it, make sure you have something pink and girly on your table-table cloth, pink napkins, a candle tied in a pink ribbon-whatever! Just take your life into the spirit too.

Sorry for my lack of posts lately. I am still struggling with extreme fatigue. I don't ever (and yes, I remember the early days after the accident) remember feeling so bad for so long. I did blood work today and have another doctor's appointment this week. I am hoping to be able to show you my little flock of hedgehogs, the decor of the craft room and what the pretty girl holding up the legal pad was all about.

I also have an extra subscription to Readymade I would like to give away. With all the decorating magazines folding I am grateful to have this one to read in paper form each month. First person to let me know they want it can have it.

Be well.

And new gadets are being added

2010-02-02T08:36:00.003-05:00

First, as we grocery shopped yesterday it was with one thing in mind. Randomly choosing, from over 300 options, a cookbook to be used for the focus book this week. The idea, take down a book, choose 3 dinner recipes to be shopped for and cooked up this week. On Sunday we vote if the book is a keeper or goes into the pile to be donated to the library sale.

I'll list the book each week and post the recipes and pictures as part of the postings each week. I chose a few easy recipes to guarantee to have some last minute meals to put together.

I officially joined twitter and made my first tweet. We'll see how it goes. I connected it to facebook-we'll see how that goes.

New gadgets-old mama (I can tell what my darling son is thinking right now)

If I seem dopey I think it is the result of the ativan taking to relieve stress prior to having my trache replaced. It had been 7 months and I did everything I know of to get ready. My Dr. Goot is wonderful. I would never have the courage to do this without him. 7 months when it is suppose to happen every 2. Crazy painful. Oh and by the way, insurance held up the relplacement trachs and delayed my scheduling an appointment to go back in.

I'm off to take my goofy self to make a hedgehog. And if I'm up to it, some ruffly flowers.

If I do, you'll see it here first.
Be well.

A better post is coming, but first a word about money

2010-02-01T08:10:00.002-05:00

Anybody else notice how the minute money issues seem to be getting easier life has a way of taking back that exhalation of relief? On Friday we received our tax refund - yeah! On Friday night the car broke down - boo!

Warning -I am also going to add a moment of health insurance soapbox. Every January we pay deductibles. If, like us, you satisfy your deductible every year, you understand what it is like to have to pay it all up front. Hundreds of dollars for meds and doctors and supplies. If your condition is chronic you have no choice but to find the money every January-lots of money. Followed by what feels like lots of money every month for meds and supplies- it really never stops.

As our premiums go up our coverage or rather our share of payment for the services increases too.

How many of you know someone who can't change jobs because of insurance? How many of you know of someone who puts up with unkind circumstances at work because they can't lose their insurance? How many of you know of someone who chooses their doctor and/or hospital and/or medication supplier from an insurance company approved list?

Wake up folks, the national health insurance issue affects everyone in some way. If ever there was a time to get political. If ever politics felt personal.

No one anywhere, but especially not here in the United States, should ever have to feel the desperation of being unwell and having no where to turn. I am not taking simply about the life threatening situations, but the day to day unwell. No one, not for any reason.

Off of soapbox. On to crafting and decorating. Back soon.

Be well.

2010-01-29T12:48:00.002-05:00

If my day goes as planned (does any one's, ever?) I will post another room today or tomorrow. I love it when the rooms are all spiffed up and ready for you to see. This week has been all about hospital time (visiting a friend for 2 days) and exhaustion. Monday and today seem to have glimpses of function. I hate hate hate these days that have me waking up in the bathroom 3 hours after I remember going in. And when I wake up I'm too tired to make the coffee that might keep me going. Even now it is 1:00 and I have so much to do and all I can think about is napping!

Enough whining. In case you are feeling a bit of the ole cabin fever I thought I would offer up some fun crafty and/or craft inspiring blogs. Enjoy!

Her stuff is amazing-she crafts at a whole other level. She is however the one who did the adorable hedgehog pattern
http://matsutakeblog.blogspot.com/

This one has me running to the dollar store!
http://dollarstorecrafts.com/

Spend some time with this one. Last years Christmas project list is worth starting on now for gifts throughout the year. You can look at the list from previous years also.
http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/

Check out the adorable one-hour softie (even if you have to muddle through a lot of turtle posts)
http://vintagericrac.blogspot.com/

Betz is just cool-looking at early glimpses into her next book or doing a project
http://blog.betzwhite.com/

Be well

Let's do a little cripple decorating!

2010-01-25T20:30:00.005-05:00

By that I don't mean let's decorate some cripples but rather let's decorate a room knowing a cripple lives here. This is about to be a photo heavy post. I want to show you my dining/living room and what does and does work about it.

Know that I really like this room. I live in a fairly small space. For a long time I decorated for the life I wish I had, now this rooms works for both Hubby and me and the life we really live-but can be changed up quickly if that other life comes along.
Here is the room. It's best points from my seat:
Low art work-walls are the greatest place to make an impact in a wheelchair users room since you don't have to roll around it.

Table has good seating for Hubby, lots of work space and a good regular spot for me, and expands to seat 10.

While it may not look like an easy room to manipulate a wheelchair in, most of the furniture, including the couch, is lightweight enough for me to move myself.

The china cabinet keeps my dishes at a reachable level, linens handy and extra storage for things like Ziploc and foil.

With the couch (a fold out) there Hubby can watch TV and I can slide close enough to put my feet in his lap and the dogs can be close either on the couch or under the table on the rug.

The rug defines the table nicely but does not interfere with my wheelchair maneuvering around on the floor-chairs hate carpet.

The bench against the wall is extra seating when the table is expanded or decorative along the railing. Its openness keeps the stairway looking airy. Made those pads this weekend with a winter and a summer side.

Love all the color and art and textiles. The heart pillow was also made this weekend. It matches the winter side of the bench pads. Free hand cut tree trunk (felted sweater) and hearts (sweater and leftover wool felt) were machine "appliqued" in the easiest way possible. Fun for Valentines Day and sporting a wonderful fabric on the back.

My Initial wall. An idea borrowed from here. Be sure to notice the newest letter, a gift from my dear friend. I love it!

My few other projects last week/weekend included these vintage quilt scrap/cashmere sweater hearts whose stuffing includes dried lavender. They smell amazing. And these fortune cookies made for a swap from this tutorial. Even more fun than they look here, especially with fortunes tucked inside.

-this great pink fabric is the back of the heart pillow, cool right?

Be well.

What a difference a day makes.

2010-01-24T20:51:00.000-05:00

It does. And tomorrow I'll take pictures and write and show you.

Be well.

How do you spend your days?

2010-01-23T12:19:00.002-05:00

One of the not so great things about being disabled and a "shut in" is also one of the best (of course). I love that I have the time to explore any interests I can bring into my home. That means that a day spent creating my bad (and yes it is pretty bad) paintings is just fine.

It also means that I spend oh so much time alone. In fact today was one of those days that had me looking around realizing that if I fell off the planet my absence would go unnoticed for a long time. My biggest fear is that I have become unpleasant and uninteresting and no one wants to spend time with me. And lest you fear I am nuts, I do understand that everyone is overworked and busy and juggling family commitments. But today I'm a bit sad.

My house is messy and after almost four hours I have barely made a dent. It is taking me forever to do things "wheelchair style". And, to keep with the whining, I really want a nap!

But I digress. Back to the lonely thing. My dogs are my lifelines. Macuisla is the perfect dog-calm, sweet, obedient. Buster is joyous-plays exuberantly and sleeps just as hard, is devoted and usually obedient. What would I do without them? So here in my messy house I can't help but smile at the bed with the two sleeping dogs. Maybe I'll roll over there and take a short nap too.

Be well.

From the fuzz that is my brain...comes...

2010-01-21T11:50:00.005-05:00

Rest assured that while I have been quiet I have not been inactive...well, actually I have. I have no idea what is making me so crazy tired. I can't seem to get anyone to believe me or take seriously what a problem this is. Beside the fact that it is dramatically effecting my quality of life (shouldn't that be enough) I am starting to feel that it is dangerous.

I am making careless mistakes, am unable to handle the basics of my life. I often don't eat and as such feel full of meds on an empty stomach. I feel a dramatic cry for help coming on! I need someone to save me since I am too sleepy to do it myself. Someone smarter than me-is it diet or meds or illness?

I so truly believe in all things that "things in motion stay in motion, things at rest stay at rest". I want to be a thing in motion. It doesn't seem to last long. Look at today. It's almost 12 and I am already thinking about what time I will crawl (mentally) in to bed (physically).

Give that pitiful whining some thought. I'd love some suggestions!

I am off to finish me swap crafting: handmade napkins trimmed in vintage crochet (3), stuffed quilted heart, and 3 fortune cookies . I hope to finish and photograph all of them today if I can manage to stay awake.

Still gripped with vampire fever I finished 2 more Sookie Stackhouse novels. That makes 7 since Christmas.

Enough with the whiny cripple! On to something else. Apron Thrift Girl is auctioning off a quilt with all proceeds going to Haiti. Simply leave a comment with your bid. Auction ends tomorrow. I don't know about you but I just don't seem to find vintage quilts at reasonable prices. Good luck!

Be well.

Some days I have it really good.

2010-01-15T14:07:00.004-05:00

When my pain issues are out of control, I don't have to call in sick or tell a single soul that I am having a bad day. I even have a hubby that won't notice my lack of effort around the house (in married talk we admit that we have different housework tolerance levels-really, some men and women look at housework differently?). No matter what your pain level if you can focus you can review some books. And I did.

It is no secret that I love (when not reading a Sookie Stackhouse book-4 more until I have read all currently in print)craft and cook books. I read them like others read novels. I look for some basic things:

Value for the money. Will I cook enough recipes (hubby has suggested a 1=$1 ratio) or create enough projects to make it worth while? Or will it be a resource for knowledge that can not be matched elsewhere.

Well written, clear directions.

Interesting voice. Is the author someone I would like to meet and share a meal with?

I try to read several, well a lot, of crafty blogs. Many of which are written by book authors or will recommend books. Being what I have decided to call thrifty, I try to check out the book from our wonderful library. Then I get to see if the book passes the ultimate test: once I have read it & seen the pictures am I going to slide it into my Amazon basket (or put it on my purse list to try and buy at Half Price or even watch for at the library resale shop?

These have been added to my Amazon basket this week:

Pretty Little Presents

This book is one of a series that includes "Pretty Little Pincushions" and "Pretty Little Potholders". I am tired of seeing the same basic crafts in every book. This book has a few twists. I am loving the engagement pillow (I am so on the look out for faux bois fabric), the coasters, the covered hanger and sachet bird that use recycled sweater. These projects range from fairly quick to more elaborate. I'm not interested in the purse or wallet-these have been done before but there is plenty in here to provide you with something for most folks on your year round gift list.

It shows a list price of $17.95. It is in my notebook to try and find at Half Price.

Happy Gloves
I love this book! It is happy, easy, accessible and I can not wait to make everything in this book. Japanese craft books are very "in" right now. And this could show you why. I think I will make the lion first, or the polar bear, or the fat squirrel or the donkey or....

In my Amazon cart and I'll be buying 2 copies, one for me and one for (no, I'm not telling).

Weekend Sewing
This book is perfectly fine. If you are young and someone who would consider whipping up a dress on Saturday morning for a date night with your spouse, then using left over fabric to whip up some pajama pants for said spouse and a matching dress for your adorable daughter-this book may be more than fine for you.

The title is appropriate. There is a real Saturday vibe to this book. It has charming if random asides. It offers up detailed and easy to follow instructions. Pretty pictures of those folks I mentioned earlier.

It is in hardcover only with a list price of $27.50
If I see it at Second Hand Prose I will happily pick it up and find a place on my bookshelf for it.

The 30 Minute Vegan
I have no idea why I haven't bought this book. I want to eat a vegan diet more frequently and this makes it so easy. This is my second time borrowing the book from the library. The pictures are beautiful, the recipes just sound good. Despite my 200+ cookbooks I believe that if this were farmer's market season I would buy this book and spend Saturday mornings putting recipes together with the market's offerings.

Softcover $18.95 list price
It sits in the "buy it later" section of my Amazon cart. I would definitely pick it up at Half Price or Second Hand Prose or maybe anytime I could buy it for $10 or less.

If you are planning on spending the weekend tucked inside watching movies or even updating your Netflix list I offer you my Top 10 list of movies by year for the decade. Hope you find something to enjoy.

I plan to keep offering up all sorts of top 10 lists throughout January just because I can.

On a totally random note: it is just after 3:00 on a Friday and for the first time ever I completed a post while sipping a glass of wine. That did not suck.

Be well.

Some days this is all you need.

2010-01-14T11:29:00.002-05:00

I am having one of those kinds of days everyone thinks I always have. My house is fairly clean, I have no task screaming to be done, my father or brother haven't called with a request-I can do whatever I want. And I will. But first we both need to do this.

Have a great day.
Be well.

A Vampire bite has surprising effects!

2010-01-12T07:43:00.005-05:00

I am now on book 5 of the Sookie Stackhouse books. You may know it better as the books that formed the basis of the HBO series "True Blood". While the first book seems to be a blueprint for the first season, I have been enthusiastically assured that from that point on the book and the series part paths. I met Ms. Charlaine Harris' (the book author) fan club president and several fan club members at Bouchercon last October. It was there we also attended panels with Ms. Harris charming the room. So I bought a book.

I read the first book in Florida. And now, merely three weeks later, I am well into book three. Do I no longer have a life? What gives? Well, first I claim if I no longer had a life I would be well into book 10 by now. What I do seem to have right now is a life where the characters of these books are never far from my thoughts. A life where I seem to be finding pockets of time to read,

These pockets have replaced TV watching (Yeah!) or sleep (Boo!). I read the "Twilight" series, I watched "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer", and "Angel", and love and own the DVD sets of "X-Files", have become enamoured of "Fringe". My point, I enjoy the vampires lore that isn't too gory. Sookie may be one of the best.

After all, a large group of middle aged women (the apparent demographic of the fan club at Bouchercon) can't be wrong.

From vampires on to crafting!

I have set a few goals for myself surrounding this blog. First, I would like to develop a schedule of postings that gives me structure and freedom stems from that structure. Two, I would like to complete a craft project each week. At the end of the year I want a file of 52 photographs for my craft room. Simple projects OK and big projects count the week they are finished. Tuesdays will be the day the previous week's project will be unveiled.

Here is the project from last week, week one. A very simple project for a swap. I love the day after Christmas shopping. This year we were in Florida and the shopping was limited. However on New Year's Eve we were back in town and took advantage of some 70-75% off sales. I like to buy ornaments that can be used for non-Christmas projects. Hearts work especially well.

For a recent bookmark swap I included a large book book ribbon. I simple removed the ornament original hanging ribbon, replaced it with a narrow non-seasonal ribbon and added beads to the other end. The heavy ornament works well when laid out in a large coffee table book. Its weight makes it practical and beautiful in a decorative book.

Here is a hint on the project I'm working on and hoping to finish by month end:

Can't wait for you to see more!

Be well.

I love a bright new shiny year, don't you?

2010-01-04T07:32:00.005-05:00

Today is the first "working" day of the new year. Hubby is at school, dogs are still asleep on the bed, a load of laundry is in the washer, I have eaten 6 (really 8) hand fulls of leftover movie popcorn and finished off a bottle of water, and lest you think I am a slacker-I read two blogs and did a search/research for purchasing medical supplies online.

All that has nothing to do with much unless you love an excuse for a do-over! And I do! I love lists-I make lists all the time. It helps me to break things into bits and make them doable. Or it helps me to organize my thoughts. I can take a to do list and then prioritize the list. I am list crazy!

So how about we start off the year with some lists?

Oh, before I do that I need to put my 2 cents in for "Precious". I have a feeling that many of you out there will never get the chance to see this film. In our large city it is only playing in what would be considered theaters that cater to a black audience. That is so a mistake. Not a perfect movie, it is a movie for everyone. The entire audience participated in a shared experience that does not happen often- a crowd of people all laughing and crying together. I can not completely explain why or how it does it but this movie is about choosing joy. It is about finding and believing in your true self. It is also about the humanity that exists in everyone even those that repel us. A good thing to remember too. Not that everything in this movie is pretty. I went to this film because Hubby said we should, and critics whose opinions we value said we should. They were right. Now I'm telling you that you should go not because you should but because you will be sorry if you don't. Really. It's that good.

Today's list: Top 10 Movies of 2009

Tomorrow: Top 10 Movies of each year 2000 - 2008
Top 10 Movies of the Decade

Soon: 50 Things to do in the upcoming decade in which I'll turn 50.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

2009-12-28T10:42:00.002-05:00

This is a quick post. I am using my in-laws computer quickly because I have to run out for Florida strawberries, avocados and tomatoes before we leave to go back to the frozen tundra of Indiana. For some reason I can't post from my iPhone!

Something kind of magical happened while I have been here and I want to share it. I know if I analyze it or even really think about it I might find there isn't much magic here so I choose to let it be. I have spent the last few days being mothered. My favorite foods have appeared, I was made to read under better lighting, I got a gift of a set of dickies (for those of you too young to remember a dickies is a false turtleneck to wear under your clothes. For someone who wants to hide a trache or wear a necklace once in a while they are perfect. Not sure who else would wear them), and I haven't been allowed to clear a table or well, anything. I have read by the pool and been told to put on a sweater if it is even slightly chilly.

I miss my mother terribly. I have wondered how to get through the rest of my life without the hope of that feeling, that one where you feel safe and cared for. This week that pain was eased. And since I believed that pain would never be even slightly relieved, I see magic.

And I'm going to leave it at that.

Be well.

If this is what depression is like I think I'd like something else now

2009-12-21T13:57:00.002-05:00

Writing in this blog is something I do for myself. By that I mean taking the time to write, rewrite, plan, post, etc. is selfish time. I love doing it so I end up not doing it as often as I would like. Instead everything else beckons me. I spend my time cleaning, doing paperwork for our household and two others, and lately, sleeping.

I can not seem to wake up either physically or emotionally. Oh and so you know that I know, let us acknowledge that most of this matches time with my Mom's death. I no longer make a big fuss over the birthdays of my children or spouse. I am not excited to buy gifts for others on their special days. Presents feel like obligations. My house is barely decorated for the winter. Many of my crafts projects have been in the "in process" basket for almost two years.

I have lots of ideas but seldom make them happen. I never feel well, I am always tired. Oh God-have I become one of those vegetarian joke subjects? Dragging my self everywhere?

In November I gave myself a long list of "try"s. While I wasn't perfect, it was better than October. My mother use to claim today was a good day to be better than yesterday. It is such a kind way a picking yourself up and trying again. But that was my Mom. Always kind and always believing in forgiveness. And she knew how to forgive in a way that didn't come with strings. She was so happy to have someone in her life with joy, she forgave everything. A she always thought her loved ones incapable of doing anything unforgivable. It was that support that made it easier to forgive yourself and move forward. What a gift. Oh, my point - I'm making a list for the new year that will include many of the November items. For sure:

Blog daily
New craft/project each week

So I enter these holidays ready to hit the road for sunny Florida and a visit to my in laws. I have never in my life been away from my parents at Christmas. Its Hubby's turn to be with his parents. My Dad won't miss me, I'll see him before I go. I have never spent Christmas with my brother. My children have in laws and my ex's family all wanting to see them. I don't want to be one more obligation. We will do our best to be altogether in the new year.

I still have to pack. Part of my packing is going to include several of those "in process" crafts. I have hopes for spending the long car travel time to do some embroidery and embellishments. I say a few pillows at Crate and Barrel yesterday I am hoping to rif off of.

I don't want to leave you facing the Christmas days off without a movie recommendation:

"An Education". Written by Nick Hornby this is another one of those PERFECT films. Not a detail goes unnoticed. The sets, costumes, music and above all the story! I think the entire audience was in love with the young actress Carey Mulligan! Don't miss it.

Not playing in your town? Don't go out to movies? Then on Tuesday you can pick up a copy of "500 days of Summer". This is definitely in my top 10 list for 2009. Maybe for the decade.

So far this year 3 must see films: "Up", "An Education" and "500 Days of Summer". That should keep you busy.

Be well and happy holidays.

A birthday and a link to a giveaway!

2009-12-16T21:01:00.002-05:00

Not feeling up to posting today I am going to do this:

Happy Birthday Pumpkin!!!!! You know who.

A blogger with a closed brick and mortar store is offering up 3 giveaway boxes of undisclosed items. All you have to do is follow the link and leave a comment. Good luck!

Be well

You're a mean one Mrs. Grinch.....

2009-12-14T21:15:00.005-05:00

I really seem to be struggling with holiday spirit. We postpone our family get together spend less hectic extended time together. I love our time together but understandably it lessens the pull of the holidays (a good thing if you don't like crowded holiday shopping leading to great bargains after Christmas). I haven't made any cookies (the burns have lessened my oven using enthusiasm). Hubby & I did spend a weekend away in Madison, IN. Its a small town in southern Indiana. We have gone there several times with our best couple friends and had some really good times. It was suppose to be our holiday kickoff weekend. The company was good but the city and weather (it is Indiana in December) not so much. Very cold! The parade was lacking (except for the singing want to be mayor) and the winery with the 50 decorated Christmas trees lacking good accessibility and the craft show (I'll show you what I bought some other time) was lacking enough to hold my interest for 3 hours and the hotel -last time we were there spending Saturday night on the patio playing games listening to the singer was one of the highlights of our trip and the reason we stayed there again-was not lacking a drunk or high clientele. The one thing that did not disappoint, besides the company, the high school production of "White Christmas". Those kids were talented!!! All that said, I would guess that my big problem is missing my Mother. Without her I have no "partner in crime".

I think most wheelchair users can identify with the need for restrictions on home decorations. I can no longer put lights up outside myself and asking Hubby would be just one more thing. Living in a fairly small space hampers my ability to get around a tree. So I try to get creative.

I look for ways to decorate on the walls or go all out on the dining room table. That thought process led me to one of my all time favorite decorations-the hanging wreath!

We have hung ours on a hook directly over the dining room table like a chandelier. To do this yourself:

You will need an artificial wreath, ribbon, various ornaments, ceiling hook and optional items include garland, "snow", glitter

Cut 3 lengths of cord or ribbon 12" long.
Tie the 3 ribbons in a knot together at one end
If you are going to spray the wreath with "snow" or glitter it, now would be the time
Space the other ends evenly around the wreath and tie
Add garland or ribbon if desired (I used a small mirrored garland I had on hand)
Hang the wreath on the hook, now is the time to adjust it to insure it is hanging evenly.
Using clear fishing line or beading cord cut several pieces in lengths varying from 5" to 10".
Tie an ornament to the end of each piece of clear line
Drape the ornaments over the wreath varying the heights
Total cost (everything bought the day after Thanksgiving)

Wreath $2
Ornaments $6
Ribbon -on hand (came from a 4/$1 spool & I used 1/10th of the spool)
Beading line-on hand (came from a $2 spool and I used 1/8th of the spool)
Garland $1

Made the whole thing for less than $10 and it makes the whole room look festive!

Looking for a quick last minute gift idea? Scrabble tile necklaces. They seem to be everywhere & are luckily an easy project to duplicate at home.

We bought our bag of 50 tiles for $4.99 at Michael's
And 50 tiny screw eyes for $3.98
Cut out small squares of paper and decoupage to the tiles. For a slightly worn look you can use a nail file to "sand" the edges. Get creative with your squares-use book pages, dictionary or foreign language books, photos, scrapbook paper
Put at least 4 coats of Mod Podge- at least 30 minutes between coats.

To put in the screw eye first gently tap a nail into the top of the tile creating a pilot hole. Screw in the eye, adding a dot of glue if you want but it is certainly not necessary. Note: most tutorials for these necklaces have you gluing on a annraku bail as the piece to enable you to string the tile. These pieces needed to be ordered online. We were looking for a way that attached without relying on just glue and was easy to find.
Add any type of cording such as leather or silk (didn't take a picture because I didn't want to completely ruin the surprise for the recipients of my daughter's work). Adding beads to the cords is an additional fun option.
Cute and you can make a whole batch in an evening for far less than $1 each.

On a really happy note for me-my daughter in law was over last week and helped me to put the finishing touches on both the library and the craft room. They look fantastic! Pictures to follow this week.

On another note-I did my first postings on eBay. I am trying to sell some of the cool stuff I bought back before the accident when I spent lots of time searching thrift stores and flea markets. When my living and storage space was twice the size it is now I could buy lots of things on just a whim. I have been donating these things to Goodwill. Not a bad thing. I always hope that finding some of these things makes the day of someone not unlike old me. I keep thinking it might be nice to make a tiny bit off this stuff. We'll see. I look at these listings as practice. So wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes.

It has not escaped my notice that I am whining a lot lately. Maybe it is a good thing my posts have been sporadic. I am going to work hard to make sure that my next 10 posts are whine free. Thank you for your patience!

Be well!

Reality is a bitch, you know she is.

2009-12-09T07:43:00.005-05:00

I have been quiet the last few days for many reasons including a heavy dose of reality. First I read something that affected me deeply, then it angered me or rather made me angry at others.

I suppose I should explain that I have long held the belief that I am a good cripple. By that I mean that I believe I have the cripple life style figured out. I believed that I pushed myself to be far above expectation and that any failure of skill was to be blamed on the lack of time and effort of others to help me. Pretty full of myself aren't I? Here I was patting myself on the back for being able to do basic homemaking skills and for trying to be something more than a stay at home cripple.

I have volunteered. I am always looking for ways to be a good housewife. I..but I digress. My point was that despite what I may have thought of my efforts over the last 7 years I have learned the truth. While looking to discuss pain management with other quads, I stumbled across this. It explains what you can expect a C7 or T1 quad to be able to do. And I can't do it all.

That feels humiliating. And then we discovered not one but two severe burns. One on my thigh and the other on my breast. Both are large-big adhesive pad large. Both had gone untreated for longer than they should have. Either one or both would explain the excessive pain over that last few weeks. In searching my memory for how I got the burns the best I come up with is Thanksgiving cooking. Leaning across the oven without sliding in my OveGlove would result in a burn. A hot sauce pan propped on a thigh without potholders, even quickly, would account for the other.

I don't want my wallowing to keep me from mentioning some fun things:

Head to the blog I'm just a guy who quilts and comment for a chance to win this calendar. Take a moment to read about the barn quilts and then go out and encourage a math teacher you know to incorporate this idea into their geometry classes!

And if you are a West Side Story fan or a fan of all these netwoking technologies you should take a few minutes and watch Web Site Story

Be well.

What Hoosier doesn't love Mellencamp?

2009-12-02T17:56:00.002-05:00

As a city, Indianapolis, we struggle to get a smoking ban passed. Unlike the Indiana city of Bloomington, the home of John Mellencamp. That said I think we should support the sweet intentions of Mellencamp's son to get him to stop smoking.

John Mellencamp and Speck have struck a deal, 1,000,000 people join a facebook group called, of all things, "1,000,000 to join, my dad john mellencamp will quit smoking". How cool as a kid if we could have made a deal like that to get our parents (in my case my Dad) to quit smoking!

Here's a link to the article online with Entertainment weekly.

When I joined the group there were just over 47,000. The article came out today. What do you say-a chance for us old folks (also known as Mellencamp's peers) to be part of pop culture.

I feel a personal attachment. In middle school Mellencamp's high school rock band played our dances. At IU he would perform in local bars offering to buy beer for those who would listen to new material early in the day. Cool stuff! And after my accident my son and daughter (who live in Bloomington) went to him and requested an autograph for my mother's day gift. He sent a card, signed liner notes, and autographed the CD as well. Didn't hurt that it became one of my favorite Mellencamp CDs- we would play it during weight lifting at rehab. Heard it a lot.

Be well.

I am still sick so today is all about CUPCAKES!

2009-12-02T09:29:00.005-05:00

Well, actually cupcake toppers. As my sickly, feeling sorry for myself, dopey ass has dragged itself around to favorite blogs I found some cool downloads and cupcake ideas. Enjoy!
These TV dinner cupcakes are an idea from a book Hello, Cupcake and made up by a blogger, My Paper Crane, whose blog is a wealth of holiday goodness. Go take a look, promise you will enjoy!

The mustache and quote blocks are actually a free download from A Beautiful Mess. In her post she included the idea of toppers showcasing the Magnolias! If you read her blog you will be blown away by her creativity!

Hope to be crafting and blogging for real soon.

Be well!

Happy Sunday after Thanksgiving

2009-11-29T15:56:00.003-05:00

Hopefully everyone traveled safely this weekend. I am a worrier when my kids travel but this weekend I am tense about all my loved ones on the road. Its just too busy out there.

I'm making this a short post-I may have the flu. Or not, whatever this is came on quickly and seems designed to cleanse my body. At brunch today I learned I had spent the weekend with lots of folks just now feeling better. I hope I am simply being a hypochondriac.

So the end of this tale is that I 1)watched or went to not even 1 movie, 2)took very few pictures and 3) seem to have accomplished little based on the mess of the house.

We cooked vegetarian turkey, gravy and dressing and took it to my brother in law's house where he graciously had lots of vegetarian sides, including soup. They could not have done more. And, imagine, we had another dinner just as big on Saturday. We celebrate "early" Christmas while my in laws are in town and part of that celebration is a contest (food of course) and this time the theme was Polish food. 7 entries. We didn't win, took second with one of our dishes. Then today was an all you can eat brunch at BarcelonaTapas-amazing French toast and I was told the meat dishes were amazing. I believe my son claimed he would be dreaming about the chicken and the goat cheese in tomato sauce. High praise from him (by the way the chef there is a dear friend).

We also hit "Black Friday" at 5am and whatever the next day is called, Saturday I mean, we were out at 7. At Target we came away impressed. JoAnn's could have handled things better but we more than satisfied our list. We also stopped at Kohl's but that was just odd. Oh well, the learning of all this was: no more 5 am rushing. Black Friday is fun but 5am is not.

The last few days I have been working on a post about going to someone's home for the holidays. The lack of bathroom access or even ease of getting around. I couldn't seem to word it in such a way that made it clear how much I appreciate the efforts of so many and that I do understand the sacrifices required to have me in their lives. Since what seemed to ooze from the writing was frustration, I left it in "draft".

I leave you now hoping that tomorrow's posting has not one reference or feeling of illness!

Be well

And around and around

2009-11-24T16:31:00.002-05:00

A couple weeks ago this picture appeared on How About Orange's blog. She explained the coffee/latte stencil and then went on to explain how she had made her own from a coffee lid. I thought this was so very cool and stored the idea away in my head for the kids' stockings.

At JoAnn's on Sunday I found the packet of stencils for cupcakes. The perfect size for coffee cups! I am off to buy many sets for gift giving. Sorry Hubby but I'll try to make this the last JoAnn's outing until after Christmas (I did say try).

Note the price of $5.99? Their Christmas stuff was half off. My cost $3/3 stencils. Not as cheap as Orange's coffee lid. The cost per stencil at coffeestencil.com? $10-but they have some incredibly cute stencils.

Oh, and don't forget the original intent of these stencils and make some very cute cupcakes.

Be well!

Its coming up on Thanksgiving weekend, do you have your DVDs picked out?

2009-11-24T08:38:00.003-05:00

I hope you will all go to the actual movie theater this weekend-to see an art film of course! Or if you live somewhere that makes seeing some of the smaller films difficult feel free to join me in seeing The Fantastic Mr. Fox based on the Roald Dahl book and directed by someone who actually understands the book (Same author as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, The Witches, James and the Giant Peach).

For your home video time if you have not yet seen (and why the heck not) Up*or Valentino-the Last Emperor **both movies are perfect for the mixed crowds Thanksgiving seems to bring.

*every time I link to the web page and Russell rings the doorbell my dog Buster goes nuts trying to figure out who is here. I like that!

**on the short list for possible best documentary nominations and when you consider what isn't that is certainly saying something

If you fall in love with Valentino like I did you might end up buying this gorgeous book but definitely take a minute to check out this blog: The Satorialist. At the risk of sounding like the local news HE HAS INDIANA TIES! And he is very very cool. He combines Project Runway attitude with serious chops that include working for Valentino.

Hubby has been putting together his top 10 list for the decade. I hope this weekend to do the same and to finally get the craft room cleaned up and the back deck cleared up. Wish me luck.

Be well.

There are invisible postings-you'll just have to trust me!

2009-11-23T10:53:00.003-05:00

Greetings! I have been typing a post every day in November. The last few included. However I have reasons for keeping them in the draft folder. I think if I tell you that trying a new pain medication (a gift from a friend) as well as late nights combined to give me postings that should not be allowed to see the light of day.

Instead I am going to offer my turkey day advice. If you must have a turkey do this:

Remember-if you want your turkey to love you, you must love your turkey!

In a food processor finely chop fresh herbs (rosemary, sage, basil, chives, oregano, tarragon, salt, pepper) and a garlic clove. Mix into soft, not melted butter. Now rub the butter into your turkey-that's the loving part so really rub it in! At this point you can stuff it -I prefer dressing (stuffing cooked in a casserole dish not in the bird) or put more herb stems, garlic cloves and lemon wedges inside the bird or neither. If you want to cook it in a cooking bag, flour the bag & poke holes then slide it in. If you prefer to roast the bird on a rack, slide the bird into the roaster and pour a bottle of white wine over the turkey. Don't be cheap-use a bottle you would consider drinking at Thanksgiving dinner. The alcohol burns off it that concerns you.

If like me you are doing a faux turkey loaf not much changes. The herbs & butter in a cooking bag or herbs, butter and wine will work. Also consider brushing on jalapeno mustard on tofurkey while cooking. Yum.

Be well

10,011

2009-11-19T11:05:00.002-05:00

That's how many words I have written so far. Behind schedule I have spent the morning trying to catch up. At the end of today I would, if I was on schedule I would have about 30,000 words by now. Right now my hands ache and my eyes are crossed (you would not believe how many times I have had to retype these very simple words). I don't know if I can do this every day. But for today that number feels really good. I am starting to get the idea. This month is about building the habit of writing. And speaking of habits:

I have blog 18 times in 19 days
Need to be right reared its ugly head this week. Long pointless discussions with hubby drove home how unpleasant this quality is. Will keep trying,
Diet. Well, I keep paying the monthly fee for Weight Watchers online but am lazy about entering in food. Will try to catch up. Except for the spoonfuls of ice cream (3) from a cartoon last night and 5 piecse of candy my food for each day has been under allowed points.
Create. Some. Not quite there but if you saw the destruction and devestation of my craft room you would feel sympathy for my lack of creativity.
Pictures. I take some with my phone since my camera is still with my brother in law. I remain hopeful for a few hours out on a photo shoot walk this weekend.
Letter-one a week done, need to do one for this week.
Read- getting 120 pages a week done but not daily.
Radio & music vs TV, well TV is winning by leaps and bound. It's simple and well, we got a new big one (37") and you can even see their nose hairs. It is kind of amazing! I still want to work on this. Think I'll go now and turn off the tv.

Be well.

It may not look like much now...

2009-11-18T20:30:00.002-05:00

...but it is a bit of art none the less.
On the left is layer one of my first attempt at an altered book cover. On the right is a freshly painted giant "F" for my wall of "F's". When they are all dry, there are others not pictured, I'll show you a picture of the wall. I'm really liking it.

Made a Shepard's pie thanks to Mia's easy recipe. Substituted veggie sausage for ground beef, added horseradish sauce to the potatoes when I mashed them since I had no milk but then I kind of blew it-I added chick peas. And over cooked it. Even despite my best intentions it was edible. Next time it will be even better. Can't be perfect every time!

Be well!

I am in crafty heaven!

2009-11-17T14:09:00.004-05:00

Last night I got to combine 2 of my favorite things-my oldest (by that I mean we have been friends the longest of any of my friendships-over 30 years)friend and crafting. We made ribbon bookmarks with beads and charms. Joy.

The today I discover a blog devoted to sharing a group of crafts around a theme for every day in November. It is called Sewmamasew. I especially recomend November 9-the one-hour softie, November 4 has a "Go Green" theme and includes reusable produce bags, all sorts of different cloth napkins, reusable shopping bags, and my favorite so far, November 1 with a "Wearable" theme has some of the most simple perfect ideas for girlfriend gifts- fabric poppies to make pins or adorn sweaters, hats, pillows and two different really cool scrap bracelets.

I am really into these soft cuff bracelets. They make perfect wheelchair user gifts and come in fabric, crocheted or knitted, up cycled inner tube and recycled plastic. Because they are soft and tight they manage to be decorative without catching in you wheel when you push your chair! As a gal who loves bracelets I am excited to be able to wear them again.

If you aren't into making your own here are a few etsy shops that would be happy to sell you theirs.

chic baby rose

rhy's shop

Joni's crochet creations

Butterfly effect

Be well.

HATE THE MUSIC?

2009-11-14T11:26:00.000-05:00

Comment and let me know if I should get rid of the music.

I'm not Bob Denver in "Gilligan's Island", but rather Tom Hanks in "Castaway"

2009-11-14T11:09:00.002-05:00

There are no Harlem Globetrotters showing up on my island.

Get it?

Perhaps I should explain. I work home alone. From 6:30am Monday morning until Friday 6:00 pm I am for the most part alone. There are exceptions to that, good ones. But they are unsure. What I do know is that I am unable to venture out into the world, off my island, of my own volition, during those hours.

This means if I want to make Potato Corn Chowder and realize I have no cream I have to scratch the idea. Any idea how many projects, repairs, recipes, surprises, get thwarted for lack of a *insert noun here*? Sure you do. When is the last time you had everything you needed?

I am a good substituter. But we, by we I mean our society, have gotten comfortable with convenience. Picking things up on the way home. Ordering in (which I can't do because I can't answer the front door-it is down a flight of stairs), running out, just picking up.

I would like to say I am organized enough to pull it off. But I am flighty in some ways. I want to eat what I'm in the mood for. I want to create what I have the energy for. Sometimes I really crave the ability to go out for coffee and read sitting in a chair at Starbucks, chatting about my book, smelling the coffee. Sometimes I really crave the ability to wander an antique mall alone looking at tea cups or dolls or salvage pieces or oil paintings or, whatever. Sometimes I crave the ability to ..... with people around.

My children will attest to the fact that I am a line chatter. I speak to folks in grocery lines about what they are about to purchase, their children, the day, whatever. I like to make contact. Stores I frequent know me and I know the workers in some personal way. I like most people I meet. I find that with very few exceptions people all have some wonderful thing inside of them that I will be better for knowing.

I think that would be true of the Harlem Globetrotters too.

Be well.

End of an era.

2009-11-13T12:21:00.004-05:00

My Mother had this habit of saving comic strips. She would read the comics and see one that she thought someone might enjoy and she cut it out. She would then paper clip it with all the others she had found-a different clipped group of them for each person. As time came to send off a birthday card or maybe it had been a while and Mom wanted to reach out with a letter, before she closed up the envelope, she added the grouping of comics.

In some of the odds and ends papers in her desk I found some of these comics. We had just been through what I think of as birthday season around here. Pretty much starting with mid December through the end of February (she learned the reason for her illness in February-21 months ago) there is a card sending holiday every week. For that reason most of the comics had been passed along.

Most. I found the stack for her best friend, the woman she had known and grown up with since second grade. I think about this a lot. I think about it when I think about my son and his best friend who also met in second grade. I grew up always knowing my Mom's friend and her love for this friend. I believe it profoundly effected my relationships with other women. It effects the love I have for my son's best friend. I believe they can also be friends for almost 70 years if not more.

Today I wrote my Mom's friend a letter and included the comics. These were the last comics I found. No one else I know reads the funnies, thinks that I might want to share a laugh with them and cares enough to take the time to cut out the strip, save it, and give it to me. To offer that tangible proof that sometime when you weren't together someone out there wanted to laugh with you.

Be well.

It's still before midnight so I think it should count.

2009-11-12T23:22:00.006-05:00

I am still trying to post everyday. Given that the last two days I have taken the easy way out by embracing my coolness by using my new found YouTube embedding skill I thought that today, even with the lateness of the hour, with a bit more ambitious post.

Tuesday I decided to make an effort to get the attention of Hubby. He's a busy, distracted guy but you can't go wrong appealing to him through his stomach.

In what ended up taking hours with its many steps I made this Greek salad and, using the 1 1/2 lbs of CSA mushrooms, this mushroom risotto. The risotto recipe took away all intimidation and turned out pretty good. The Greek salad was great but not so much greater than my usual pretty terrific Greek salad. A couple ideas from it though I will try to continue using:

A thick sliced grilled sweet onion
Fresh parsley and dill
Shaved fresh fennel

Even now I'm remembering the tastiness of the salad. Risotto was very good-every mushroom bite was fantastic-but oh that salad. As to if I got Hubby's attention, well, you'd have to ask him.

Since the other day a friend saw my puppy, Buster, who is now over a year old, in the car and thought he was Macusila, I thought I would post pictures of the two of them as the looked keeping me company today as I did the laundry.

Still using my IPhone and that fun Polaroid app.

Be well.

That first picture is Macusila, the second one is Buster.

Now that I have mastered the technology:

2009-11-11T19:33:00.001-05:00

I PRESENT TO YOU MY FAVORITE YOUTUBE VIDEO! ENJOY-and if you have watched this before, what the heck, take a minute and give yourself a smile.

It's Up Day!

2009-11-10T09:47:00.000-05:00

Have a little time to waste?

2009-11-09T09:13:00.000-05:00

I admit that in the past, especially when depressed or mobility was limited, I bought things like Tetris or Granny in Paradise or Burger Rush. Deep breath. I admit that I bought them just because I like them. Well last night I stumbled across this:

Sporcle has tons of timed games. This one is identifying corporate logos.

Last night we did quizzes that included Broadway musicals, Oscar nominated actors & actresses, top 100 food chains, and best known bunnies. I think this would be a great source of topics/answers for classroom Outburst.

Maybe tonight I'll go to bed early and leave the computer open so hubby can do some of the sports quizzes.

Be well.

Don't read this if stories of old ladies peeing bothers you

2009-11-08T19:52:00.001-05:00

It is Sunday evening and the weekend was again too short. It looks like it is going to end nicely, with pizza and episodes of "Fringe". In no way am I grumbling about the weekend or whining about being crippled, just pointing out a bit of something.

Saturday night, out shopping with my daughter and daughter in law, my urostomy broke. And I didn't notice right away. So I, when I finally noticed, was soaked. In my new skirt and leggings and cashmere hand knit socks. Soaked. I replaced it, using all the napkins in the car and went into the bookstore. In there all I could think about was the wet clothes. In my head the wet clothes (which you couldn't see from the outside) were burning me.

I tried to be cool about it. Hubby even ran to the car for the emergency bag and determined what I thought was true, the only pants in the bag were huge black knit. So I said, "Never mind."

15 minutes later as we drove to pick up Mexican food, I changed my mind. So we dropped the girls off at the restaurant and headed to the big cushy bathrooms of Starbucks. Scooting boxes so I could get down the hall, we went into the ladies bathroom. It took twenty minutes to change underwear and skirt into underwear and black knit pants. They ripped but got on and looked goofy. But they were dry and clean. And we went on to have a very pleasant dinner.

Every day I hate the urostomy. Every day I am so grateful to the urostomy. In/out cathetization from a chair is rugged. And dangerous. When you need to go and can't you run the risk of autonomic dyreflexia. It means a massive headache and rising blood pressure and the serious risk of stroke or death. The doctors and I determined the dangers required the urostomy. And here I am.

Technology isn't perfect and peeing is messy. I survived. Hubby was not thrilled but a good guy about it. The girls were patient. No big loss to anything except my pride. Sometimes I ask myself if there is an inherent value in pride.

Be well.

Today I saw the Man of My Dreams

2009-11-07T15:51:00.000-05:00

I have been married for almost 20 years. Hubby is a really nice guy, the kind of guy everyone says they wish they could meet but fail to be able to determine if he really exists. He does. And for what it is worth, he is not the only one in this family. He takes good care of me and works hard. He is thoughtful and wants me to have all the tools I need to be happy. He dearly loves the children and his parents and the rest of our family. He is often the smartest guy in the room regardless of the room and that can be sad for him. The kids and I know with every fiber of our being that if we needed something he would "get it done". It is comforting.

That said I don't think we are unusual in being a couple upon whom the struggles of our daily life and the the fact he works more than just the burden heavy job of teaching day school, have taken a toll. I think real life gets in the way for many and our real life is with us no matter how far we travel.

And lest you think he is perfect, sorry to say he is human. He is forgetful and messy and sometimes moody or too smart. He, when in "get it done" mode, can forget or fail to understand the need for pretty. We have differing views on household chores. Today he did something just to make me happy.

He rented a carpet cleaner. We only have carpet in the entry way and up or down the stairs off the entryway. We inherited a cat a while back and hosted some dogs and well, they have left their mark on the carpet. Every time I went past the staircase it bothered me. Every time I worked at the kitchen sink, it bothered me. Every time I thought about having people over, it bothered me.

He is not only cleaning this carpet but he is throwing himself info doing it right. And if that is not enough he is cleaning the summer area rug and the winter area rug and changing them out. And he is doing all of this cheerfully. Really. From renting the machine this morning to executing the work this afternoon.

In between the renting and the cleaning we have eaten lunch and watched 2 episodes of "Fringe". If you are or were an "X-Files" or "Alias" fan run right out and get your hands on "Fringe". I loved both those other programs and am really loving "Fringe". But I digress. watching this exciting TV show he kept dozing off. He would probably have loved a nap. But after that second episode he turned off the DVD player and bounded down the stairs.

I went back to work in the space we are making into a library. An hour or so later I went down the hall to tell him our plans for the night. I saw him finishing up vacuuming and dragging carpets. Still cheerful, still bounding.

And my knees went weak. You could say it was because I was getting the carpet cleaned, but I could have paid for that. It was that to do this for me he had to give up one of those very rare weekend days. And he did it without encouraging me to feel guilty. I have talked about this before. Because I need so much daily help asking for anything else eats at me.

I would tell you more, but I stand a good chance of seeing that guy again.

In case you were wondering what I was doing I was skirting a storage area. From a wheelchair with my cripple hands. What an able bodied person could have done in 20 minutes, took me 2 hours. But I did it. And it looks so much better!

Picture courtesy of IPhone (my camera was left at my brother in laws last Saturday), notice I'm using an app that gives the photos a Polaroid feel. Loving it! Read about it on this blog. If you aren't regularly following Sarah, you are missing out on oh so very much!

Be well.

POLITCAL AGENDA ALERT!
Oh and I have been remiss in not encouraging everyone of you to go out and rent "Sicko". If you don't know where you stand or if you think you are opposed to universal health care, rent "Sicko". If you refuse take a minute and ask yourself if you have ever made a decision in your life that took into account health insurance benefits. Ask yourself if you are the kind of person that would deny the piece of mind and healthfulness good health insurance offers you to any person you know. Spread the word. Write your lawmakers. This is so important. It is a life changing event to be able to effect a change that will better our country. This may be the best thing you ever do for those less fortunate or for those who just plain need the help. Do it! Do it! Do it!

Not worth the time you'll spend reading this title.

2009-11-06T21:26:00.000-05:00

Hubby was very grumpy this morning crashing around the bedroom/library clutter. I spent the day trying to control the mess and turn the spaces into someplace pleasant to be. Worked all day and got about 80% done-can do more now that the bags 'o stuff have been dealt with. So...that's it. Words in a post so I can say I did.

Be well.

What's on Your Nightstand?

2009-11-05T13:20:00.000-05:00

OK, I don't have a nightstand. I use my wheelchair seat. My cup holder is on the opposite side so it isn't much use at night, but the seat works just fine. That said I usually don't have nonfiction crafty books on the nightstand anyway-I just thought it sounded good in the title.

I have been requesting from the library lots of books written or recommended by folks whose blogs I read regularly. Some have been terrific, some not. Here are the ones that made it into my Amazon (yes, I know and feel guilty for not supporting a local bookstore but I don't have one that I visit regularly and well, I don't have a better excuse except I love books and it is an expensive habit unless I shop the library sale (which you know I do))basket:

In the interest of full disclosure, "One-Yard Wonders" was delivered yesterday and "Hand-Stitched Felt" and "photojojo!" last week thanks to my Amazon credit card points.

"Stitched Toys" & "Sew Me. Love Me" are sitting in my basket now.
Blogging in for Bliss may not be your thing if you aren't looking to start a crafty blog but it is a great resource for discovering new blogs. I'm working my way through the contributor's list now. Not on my purchase list, but definitely worth my time. In fact I often buy books after library reading if I think I would use more than $10 worth of copying or if I feel the book will be somewhat timeless.

And then there are some that have been around for awhile that may just give you that cozy crafty buzz you need:

Denyse Schmidt's Quilts is so fantastic that even if you think you don't like quilting or would never quilt, you want one of these beauties.

Warm Fuzzies is just cool (what a terrible pun). If you have never felted a sweater accidentally you can't imagine the fun if you do it on purpose. Make just one of the cupcake pincushions or one of the mug pincushions and I bet you'll be hooked.

If you have been wondering about all the fuss over Japanese toy aesthetic or you want to make something easy with a new sewer, pick up The Cute Book. Then you'll understand exactly why all the fuss.

Update:

Still blogging, still dieting, still novel writing, still trying and only partially succeeding in not having to be right, still writing letters, still watching too much TV but really working on it, and still hanging in there.

Be well and if anyone needs a stack of felted sweaters to get started, leave me a note.

OMG Today would be a good day to do something fun!

2009-11-04T08:49:00.000-05:00

It's rainy outside making it the perfect day to get wrapped up in a project just for fun. After my "to do" list:

write 2000 words for novel (catching up for missed words)
get mail ready to go out (3 packages, 1 letter)
pack up summer clothes
blog
plan dinner
exercise
call a child
check accounts

I plan to get some reading in, The Girl Who Played With Fire keeps calling to me & am considering making one of these:

The Dammit doll couldn't be easier. The sock monkey requires a pair of socks-whatever you have on hand. Those amazing wreaths, the are made from book pages! The Dammit Doll and Sock Monkey instructions are courtesy of Craftbits.com while the amazing wreath is from http://livingwithlindsay.com.

Enjoy the leisure this rainy day brings!

Be well.

I look my mortality in the eye and I...

2009-11-03T10:52:00.000-05:00

Several years ago we sued Kia Motors over the design flaw in the Sportage that allowed the roof to crush in and break my neck. We lost basically because in Indiana if a product sold meets Government standards it is to be considered sound. Historically the government is slow to catch up to what industry considers acceptable-heck, even Kia didn't sell the Sportages anywhere else in the world with that type of windshield. But that is neither here nor there. I bring this up because of some of the other testimony given.

My phsyiatrist (not a misspelling- this is a doctor over a broad spectrum of care, in my case he was my doctor at rehab, the first place I went when released from the hospital but still needed physical rehab and training) testified about my general health and risks. He discussed my considerable respiratory issues and then said that if my breathing issues didn't kill me the biggest threat was heart disease. Heart disease becomes a threat as a result of the heart having to work overtime moving blood through the lifeless parts of a paralysed body.

Knowing the more active I am the easier it is on my heart, I refused a power chair and begged for a manual chair. I figure out ways to handle cleaning our house-mopping floors, laundry, etc.

I also use retail locations as tracks-rolling down all the aisles in both directions at Target, Lowes and others. You can get some good rhythm going if you are in the store in the off hours.

It hasn't been enough. 2 days before Fall break, I had breathing problems. They were scary enough, Hubby came home and we headed out to the emergency room. With a wait that looked to be hours, we called our GP and snuck into see him (I know I've told all this before). He ordered tests, including a chest x-ray. After seeing the x-ray, he ordered an echo cardiogram.

The echo shows the part of my heart is no longer working. In addition it was holding fluid-that was causing me to be out of breath and feel a bit like I am drowning. A water pill seems to be taking care of the fluid. But now what about the heart damage?

I will revisit the doc in a few weeks. At that point we will determine if the damage is increasing. We know that in an echo done 3 years ago there was no damage. In the interim the plan is to continue following my diet and increase my exercise.

In the big scheme what does this mean? It does not appear to be a "death" sentence. The doctor was not doom and gloom. But what does it mean to me? Is it a wake up call? A friend and I were talking about changing yourself. She believes, and I can not find the exception that disproves the rule, that no one changes without tragedy pushing them forward (examples being divorce, death, etc.). People always talk about wanting to change behaviors but seldom do (chronic dieters and smokers or folks who need to exercise!)

Hubby said to me, before we heard from doctor about the echo, that if the news was "bad" we would figure out ways to make sure that we did those things we have always planned to do such as visit Italy. Well, the news was not "bad" enough and so life has gone back to our brand of normal.

I don't feel normal. I feel like I should scream (no one would hear me). I want change. I hate feeling like the sky is falling. I am fearful that life is made up of too many things that will be done tomorrow or when we have time. Time marches on and things that don't involve immediate gratification or money seldom make it to the forefront.

I spend most of my days alone. You would think the 9-12 hours a day Hubby is at work would offer themselves up as unbelievable options for pursuing what makes me happy. Instead I spend way too much time on cleaning (or moving crap around-small space, lots of stuff) or family paperwork or reading blogs or, well, I should probably keep a time sheet to tell you where the time goes. Anyone who runs a house knows that there is always more work than time or if not for you, you have to let me know how you do it! But I digress.

I said last week I was going to try and make some changes. I hold to that, but I'm going to add one. I want to talk to one of my children every day. Nothing makes me happier than time spent with one of my babies (yeah, I get it, you are all amazing adults but still and always my babies). Never will anything be more important than them-so kids, free up a few minutes a week for Mom. And texting doesn't count, even though it is fun to get messages, especially the observational kind.

Be well.

So much to say...

2009-11-02T15:50:00.000-05:00

I wanted to get in the habit of posting daily and just like my diet it was totally in control during the week and struggled over the weekend. But here's how the last 7 days ended up:

Blogging 5/7
Sucking up the urge to be right 85%
Diet: 7 days under total allowed Weight Watcher points (never used any "anytime" points til weekend but still never used more than allowed for week)
Create: 2/7
Taking pictures: 2/7 Even though Hubby & I dressed for Halloween (Butterfly & Butterfly Hunter) & dogs (both as Pumpkins) and we were at our niece's party where everyone was dressed up.
Letter: forgot
Read: by the end of the weekend had read 140 pages of "Girl Who Played with Fire"
More non-TV than TV: TV still 60%

Will keep working on everything this week.

I have also added National Novel Writing Month . The basic premise is you write, without editing, 1667 words every day for the month of November. There is lots of cheering on and even some regional real life writing events. Heck over 700 people listed Indianapolis as their region. So I have started my novel. Not sure where it will go but so far the characters are very autobiographical. So far Hubby & kids have yet to make an appearance- so kids anybody want to be in Mama's book?

It's late & I'm a bit tired but I want to take a minute to make some book recomendations:

The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo & The Girl Who Played with Fire. Books 1 &2 in the series. I did not think a book could start better than Dragon Tatoo and yet Played with Fire seems to be doing just that! Learn the story of the author.

The Elegance of the Hedgehog. Got the recomendation off a blog where the writer loves all things French. It is cool.

Last Night in Twisted River. The new John Irving-NUFF SAID!!!!

Also don't want to be remiss in movie commentary:

Where the Wild Things Are. Cool looking. Sad. Takes awhile to get to the island but then once there you stay and stay and stay-it drags a bit. Very edgy. Beginning is fantastic. Love the voice of Gandolfini. He brings a certain heft as the lead monster.

Capitalism: A love Story. Serious Michael Moore crush.

Paris. The city is beautiful. Juliet Binoche is beautiful. None of us would go see this film if it were remade in English and set in Cleveland. But it isn't. Rent it. And dream of going to Paris.

Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D. Totally worth it. If you have never seen it on the big screen, go. If you love 3D, go. If you have little ones who have never enjoyed a double feature, go. If you love Pixar, go.

More tomorrow.
Be well.

Happy Friday!

2009-10-30T09:15:00.000-04:00

Look! A dust ruffle! Not a bit of duct tape to be seen. Add the thrifted throw from the nicest Goodwill ever ($3.50) & notice all the pillowcases are the same blue and well... so much better than this time last year.

I finished the dust ruffle yesterday. It is a king size bed skirt bought at the Target clearance aisle(of course). Package says original price was $69-I paid $8. It is some obscene Egyptian cotton thread count. Me, I like the way it looks all rumply and casual. Eventually (I like to remain hopeful) when the room is finished, it will have a Michigan cottage feel. Painting beachy look walls and I even bought a Lake Michigan sailing map. Can't wait.

Day 4-blogged 4 of 4! Diet-check. Create-not bad, bedskirt & much work on Steve Martinesqe dotee doll. Reading-not a fiction page all week. Letter-today, I promise. Was not as kind as I should have been, felt selfish yesterday. Photos-check. TV vs other, well if I could stop watching from bed in the middle of the night I'd be set.

Off to be better today than yesterday.

Be well.

First I will not clean house, second I will probably clean house.

2009-10-29T06:53:00.000-04:00

Going to try working the list backwards today. Starting with the creating. My plan is two fold: finish a bed skirt for our bed* and then make a dotee for a swap (the theme is wild and crazy so I'm attempting a Steve Martin complete with arrow through the head). Since doing either involves finding my sewing machine in the middle of a craft room that has been left to pile up for lack of assistance (much of the storage is able bodied) it might explain why I am not as productive as I wish I was.

* The bed is a Temprapedic. This means you can't lift up the mattress and layer on a dust ruffle. Given that the Princess (Macuisla) did not come to us at age 2 from the Animal Control Shelter as a princess, but rather a frightened acting out chewing machine, our foundation has lots of rips and holes that are currently covered in duct tape. A dust ruffle cut off the mid section and given a casing then threaded with elastic is the only thing I can think of that will hold up to the dogs and be easily done by hubby.

So I'm off to do the most cursory of dressing, load the CD player and .... Wish me luck.

Be well.

Buster does not have the most discerning palate

2009-10-28T18:30:00.000-04:00

Well, to say that Hubby was underwhelmed with my final execution of the veggie stew might just be an understatement. I made a final decision to add veggie bouillon and curry powder, serving it over whole wheat couscous. Very diet and life healthy. Hubby's comment, "It's food, it's OK." This from the guy who, well let's just say that after that work I was going for more enthusiasm.

Hubby got up and Buster jumped into his seat, he never does this, and sat at the table waiting for, what I do not know. I can tell you that earlier when I had tried a bit of stew and couscous he would not eat out of my dish. He may have expected me to fix the dish by the time Hubby was eating it.

So here is day 3 of living a better life:

Blogging for the third time, yeah!
Trying to be kind more often that right-still working it
3 days of managing to be under the weight watcher points
Not a stitch of creating but I guess today isn't over (I have to confess that yesterday I feel asleep in the middle of the day for 5 HOURS! Just woke up in the middle of the hallway with my glasses on the floor, cell phone ringing, in bunches of pain in time to get ready to head out to the hospital for my echocardiogram. Another lost day.)
Pictures taken- about 10 today. All included Buster.
No letter written yet, but again, the week is not over.
Read 20 pages-heck no, I don't even have a new novel to read picked out.
More music than TV, well, no but it's getting closer.

I figure if I keep at it I stand a chance of getting closer. Tomorrow's another day. See you then.

Be well.

I'm thinking stew and now you will be too!

2009-10-27T07:06:00.000-04:00

I invent recipes in my head. I'm good at knowing what flavors will go together-I can do virtual tastings in my head. I'm not often wrong. So I am dreaming of stew. Something with a rich tomato broth, full of beans and vegetables.

This is something like that. No beans in the pantry that seemed stew worthy (I want pinto, had black). The broth is veggie broth, tomato sauce, and 2 cans diced tomatoes with the juice,

The veggies: potatoes, carrots, celery, onion, miniature cabbage, butternut squash, sweet potato.

The question: how do I get a richer broth? Should I add wine? Tomato paste?

I'm planning on this being dinner, served over couscous. If I add the beans it would feel like a one dish meal to me. Or maybe sausage crumbles? Or tofu? Or chicken strips? (Note: all meat sounding items are vegetarian versions of meat ).

Or maybe I should add curry powder? Well, I'm going to keep smelling it all day and decide as I go.

So how did I do yesterday on day one of my life changing?

Blog daily: here I am. Noticed that yesterdays post had a date from the week before. I had started with a small bit of posting written days ahead. The real post was indeed yesterday.
Need to be right: 2 chances to trumpet my original stand but instead helped solve the problem with my tongue held. 2 out of 3 aint bad, as Meatloaf use to say.
Diet: while there was little nutritional content in my food intake it was under the allotted points
Create: nope, not unless you count the stew(yes, I made it yesterday and it's been stewing all night) or some cookies for hubby. But I don't. I want to create something of permanence.
Pictures taken:none
Letter: week isn't over
Read: none
More music & radio vs TV: it was close. Unfortunately I had the TV as background noise for a few hours and that through the balance off.

Today is the chance to be a better person than I was yesterday, I think I'll give it a shot.

Be well.